#on a serious note ive been extremely stressed about life!1!1!1!!!!

[no1boa]

kinda in a creative slump rn so if anyone has some sick and truly tubular requests plsss send them my way.. gahaha those rad ideas might just make me pop them kegs my dude gahaha

[freddiesaysalright]

Masterlist

Here it is y’all! I’ll do my best to update it regularly :)

The numbers refer to my Prompt List

Hallow-Queen Prompts HallowQUEEN Masterlist

Series/Long Fics

My Man (Ben!Roger x Reader) Part I Part II Part III (kinda steamy at the end) Part IV Part V (tw: attempted sexual assault) Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX (smut) Part X Epilogue Bonus Blurb

Catching Up (Joe x Reader) Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI (contains smut) Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part XI Part XII Part XIII Epilogue

Dancing With Ben (Ben x Reader) Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week 5 Week 6 Week 7 Week 8 (contains smut) Week 9 Week 10 Week 11 Week 12 Epilogue

I Don’t Like You or Your Band (John Deacon x Reader) Preview Full Fic (contains smut)

Lingerie (Joe Mazzello x Reader) Sneak Peek (smut) Full Fic (smut)

Peace Like A River (Gwilym x Reader) Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX (smut) Part X Part XI Epilogue

Imagines/Requests

Ben Hardy Ben and post-baby reader Ben saves reader from attack at a party (tw: attempted sexual assault) Ben and reader love at first sight (very fluffy) Ben helps reader with a sprained ankle Ben fights with reader about screenshots online Reader sees Ben’s ex on his Insta Reader is daughter of a Hollywood exec Ben and a younger woman Ben falling for a bookshop girl Ben wants to take you on vacation Ben and Filipino reader Running away from your asshole fiance with Ben Trying to start a family with Ben Long distance relationship with Ben (fluffy) 15 and 43 29 and 46 (smut) Introducing his boyfriend to the rest of he BoRhap boys 20, 21, 22 (smut) 1 and 44 (smut) 2 and 25 Dad!Ben (fluffy) Domestic fluff w/ daughter and baby #2 on the way Starring with him in a movie Morning sex with Ben (smut) Telling him you’re pregnant on his birthday Ben and your daughter surprising you on Mother’s Day Getting with Joe’s brother on set What You Deserve Firsts Reuniting after breaking up Misunderstanding you and Roger’s relationship When his fans are rude to you Dating an Australian HCs Dating a punk girl Teaching him drums for BoRhap Coaching your daughter’s soccer team Sub!Ben w/ pegging (smut) Asking you to have a baby with him (smut) Relieving his stress (smut) Comforting you after getting a haircut Asking him to make a sex tape (kinda steamy) Taking care of you after getting your tonsils out

Joe Mazzello Joe and reader find out they’re having twins Joe and reader with PTSD WWI AU with soldier!Joe and nurse!reader (very fluffy) Cheering up Rami’s sister after a breakup Meeting Joe after a long term relationship Drunk crying over Joe Joe helping reader with body image issues Meeting Joe on a blind date Getting with Joe at Rami and Lucy’s wedding (fluffy) A musical proposal Joe comforting you after a nightmare (kinda steamy)  Surprising you at work Comforting you when stress triggers depression Taking a bath with him (steamy) Drunkenly seducing him (steamy) You and Joe having lots of kids + one more 15 and 19 49 and 20 (smut) 40 and 49 36 and 50 21 and 27 (smut) Accidentally revealing you’re pregnant in an interview 28 and 34 41, 44, 23 Joe being clingy in his sleep Neighbor!Joe Romantic dinner away from the kids (steamy) Part II of ^ (smut) Fighting before he goes on a trip Joe wants to move in together but Y/N is hesitant When you’re different from his exes Choosing adoption Taking your grandmother’s ring to propose Celebrating going to college together Taking care of you on your birthday Comforting him after a breakup Proposing to you after a roller coaster Bath bomb proposal (kinda steamy) Morning sex with Joe at your parents’ house (smut) Morning sex interrupted by your baby (smut) Dancing to Somebody to Love at your wedding Baking with him on a lazy weekend Wedding night (smut) Introducing him to Stranger Things He takes you to a Yankees game Dad!Joe on your daughter’s birthday Stargazing with him Sub!Joe (smut) Dancing to Senorita Watching fireworks with him Keeping you up to watch the cricket world cup Starting the family band Aftercare with Joe Going to Burger King at 1AM Falling asleep watching TV Drunk makeout with Joe HCs Comforting you after losing your cat Wanting you to stay in bed with him Being Joe’s stylist (smut) Convincing you to dance with him Playing Just Dance with him Getting together while on vacation (smut) Feeling like you’re not good enough for him Doing a bunch of DIY around the house  Discovering his size kink (smut) Camping adventures Your first time sleeping together (smut) Catching you masturbating (smut) At your wedding reception Rami and Lucy hyping you and Joe up for your first date Falling asleep/waking up next to him HCs (kinda steamy) Distracting you from your yoga (smut) Telling him you want to wait until marriage Embarrassing your kids in front of their friends Going to bed angry HCs Turning him on in public (smut) Saying goodbye before college Drifting apart HCs (angst)

Gwilym Lee Gwilym comforts bartender reader Threesome with Gwilym and Rami (kinda steamy but also not my best work) Gwilym helps reader destress after exams (extremely fluffy) Giving Gwil a strip tease (kinda steamy) Gwil almost makes you watch Child’s Play  Gwil helps reader who is afraid of storms (FLUFFY AS SHIT PROBABLY MY FAVORITE) Gwilym and reader fight before a party Gwilym’s best friend has feelings for him Gwilym comes home after a month away Gwil and reader say goodbye to their dog (PAINFUL) Gwil used to make fun of reader in school Fighting for you at a bar Comforting him through loss of a loved one (fluffy) Playing Chrissy in BoRhap Reader attacked while with Gwil at a bar (tw: attempted sexual assault) Meeting Gwil and his friends at the bar Fighting with him before a business trip Getting into an accident and Gwil stays by your side Waking up with Gwilym (fluffy) 9, 29, 43 Baking Introducing you to Brian and Roger Comforting you after a bad breakup  Being with an American on 4th of July Surprising him on his birthday Firsts Moving in together Gwil and Playmate!Reader (smut) “Strangers at a bar” (smut) Dressing as schoolgirl for him (smut) Sub!Gwil w/ slight breeding kink (smut) Comforting you about your nose When you get you wisdom teeth out

Rami Malek Rami hooks up with a fan at the bar (smut) Part II of ^ Rami and reader skinny dip in their pool (kinda steamy) Helps reader with writer’s block relax (smut) Reader has a hard time showing emotions Taking care of sick Rami (fluffy) Defending Rami Fighting with Rami Rami winning you over on set (kinda steamy) An unexpected proposal 36 and 29 Seeing you without makeup Sub!Rami headcanons (smut) Proposing to you after sex (brief smut) Rami in drag for BoRhap HCs (smut) Under The Stars Friends to lovers Telling him you’re terminally ill (angsty as fuck) Taking your daughter to her first day of school Rami and deaf!reader cooking for his family

Lucy Boynton Helping her with her wedding Celebrating your anniversary Relieving the sexual tension (smut) Coming out to the cast together Getting drunk and admitting her feelings to you When your daughter is getting bullied

Allen Leech Taking you home to Ireland

Brian May Finding out Brian cheated (ANGSTY) Brian proposing on stage (fluffy) Brian and reader fuck at the drive in (smut) Brian and HS gf lose their virginities (smut) Brian comforts reader after serious accident (very fluffy) Brian and reader with ADHD Reader passes out and goes to hospital Brian and reader’s wedding day Dom!Bri blurb (smut) Road tripping with Brian (kinda steamy) Confessing his feelings under the stars You and Brian’s daughter coming out You and Brian’s daughter marrying her girlfriend  2 and 46 (smut) 50 Brian and plus size reader 40 (smut) 20 and 31 28, 33, 36 Roger’s groupies make fun of Brian’s gf Carrying you to bed b/c of an injury All his pet names for you Being insecure he might be cheating “Rumor has it I make you nervous” Enemies w/ benefits to lovers Becoming smitten with a flutist Defending you from the press

Roger Taylor  Flirting with reader after a gig Rog gets jealous when John accidentally sees reader nude Making up after a fight Performing Rocky Horror for him (kinda steamy) Teaching his best friend the drums Dreaming Roger was in an accident 60s Roger 80s Roger and Filipino reader  Roger and Latina reader Roger confessing his feelings after a car accident 10, 17, 37 Passing notes “All I Wanted” songfic She’s out of my life (angsty) Fighting with his childhood friend but getting together Being amused by your emotions on your period Public quickie with Roger (smut) 8, 17, 38 Doing his Rogerina makeup

John Deacon Joe!John kissing reader for the first time 20 and 42 27 and 21 Meeting John on SNL Helping you with period pain Talking about you in an interview Waking him up on his birthday

Freddie Mercury 19 He’s your first kiss 27 (fluffy) 46 Comforting you during stress When he isn’t there for you (daughter!reader)

BoRhap Boys Pregnancy fluff Discussing accents Ben interrupts you and Gwil’s wedding Helping you when you’ve been rejected

Queen Helping their protege after she gets pregnant  Choosing between Brian and Roger Taking care of you after fracturing your tailbone

[hugsfromdad]

Lemme tell you about the time I got introduced to a girls boyfriend as her baby daddy:

So, my younger brother (19) is adopted and his biological family is extremely close to this other family that used to live down the street. My brother grew up with the daughter(18), and they were/are best friends to the point of being more like siblings. Due to my brother only coming into my life just over 2 years ago, I hadnt met this friend yet. (Imma call her T)

Well, last summer my bother graduated highschool and his biological family threw him a party. T was there. She came late cause her family had moved out of state and it was quite a drive. So i had been hanging at the party for a long time when she showed up.

And lemme tell yall: this girl is gorgeous. I was genuinely confused as to how this (i assumed) 20something year old was so close and playful with my brother. Like, i expected her to be stuck up based on how she was dressed and looked. But she took her heels off the moment she arrived and cracked a joke about something, and 10 seconds into seeing her, i knew she was cool.

She and i wound up sitting pretty close to each other at the table, and we immediately connected and started mutually busting on my brother together. Oh i should mention that i was like 1 month on t at that point, but my voice had already dropped considerably. I was dressed very nicely tho.

By the end of the party, she and i were getting along great, and i think my brother hated us both just slightly. So, i had another graduation party i had to go to, and so I left about the time my brother, T, and a couple of his other friends were ditching his party to go get ice cream. We all walked out together. I think i gave him and T and the others hugs before I left (damn, remember back when we could do that? I miss that) and so while I was curious about T, I was driving for the next couple hours and didnt get to text my brother until that evening.

Welp.... So this is the fun part.

When my brother got in the car with his friends, they apparently all were talking about how hot i was. He mentioned that i was trans like him, and they all were like "couldn't tell." "He's hot either way" and stuff like that. WELL, T up and just goes "I'd fuck him."

Let's just say my brother was equal parts angry and amused and annoyed and entertained. So he tells me everything, so he texted me everything, and I subsequently had a mild stroke because I had never had someone speak so bluntly about attraction towards me before. Also my grey/asexual ass has no idea what to do with sexually bold comments.

So i then ask my brother who she is and how he knew her and such. I come to find out she had yet to turn 18, so once i got over my shock, I obviously was like 'this is amusing and I'm flattered, but i aint about to touch this cause I am not about to be accused of with flirting with a minor." However, I think i just texted him "NOPE. I dont mess with minors." Or something like that. Either way, i thought we were done.

I WAS OBVIOUSLY WRONG

so... I was the 20 year old who was not about to hit on or flirt with T. T, on the other hand, had ZERO problems with drooling over me. (I say drooling not to boost my ego, but because thats almost literally exactly what she did)

My brother realized immediately how much fun he could have with torturing T by using me. So, he just started snapchatting her everytime we hung out. This semi backfired on him tho because she would then immediately facetime him and tell him to give the phone to me. The conversation that usually went down was something like "can i have him?" "No." "But i want him." "No, T. You cant have him." "Let me see him." "No." "Lemme see himmmmmmm." And then the phone would be handed to me and i would sit there half awkwardly half amusedly smiling and saying hello as she just stared at me and gave me a very soft "haaaiii bennnn, how are you?" And then proceeded to compliment me to the point where i would just blush and then hand the phone to my brother when i didnt know what to do.

This went on for....months. She turned 18 at some point, but I wasnt trying to flirt back with her, i only made note of it because I was extremely relieved to at least know that the person hitting on my was legal. And i will say, she would say some very bold things to both my face, but even moreso to my brother. I think partly to piss him off, definitely cause she was dead serious about it, but also because I think he kinda picked up on the fact that i didnt know how to handle her saying those things to me. So...my brother regularly was shouting at her to shut up and that he didnt want to know those things, or that she was talking about his brother.

So eventually she went off to college, and she met a guy there (24ish) and they got together. He's very attractive, obviously relatively older than both her and i, and i was happy she found someone. ...I was also extremely relieved and therefore foolishly thought that that would be the end of it.

Oh how I was wrong.

So, due to quarantine, i hadnt seen my brother for a long ass time. He was with his bio family, and we just facetimed to stay in touch. However, he came over on Saturday and we just out in the yard.

WELL THIS ASSHOLE SENDS A SNAPCHAT TO T UNBEKNOWNST TO ME.

AND SO SHE CALLS. AND SAYS "lemme see my baby daddy'

i obviously was extremely flustered and concerned, so i was like asking her how she was, and how was school, and of course shes making comments about how handsome i am..and such. so im trying to not have to reply to those cause in my head im still dong the math that she has a boyfriend of a considerable amount of months, and so then i ask her about him, and how long theyve been together and so on.

Well,

SHE'S LIKE "oh, he's actually here:) you wanna meet him?"

When i tell y'all I started panicking. When I tell y'all ive never been so confused and concerned... I gave my brother a wide eyed look of shock and fear.

This woman. This absolutely bold and unconcerned woman walks into the other room, and goes "hey hun, you wanna meet my baby daddy?"

WHEN I TELL YALL I STARED AT MY BROTHER IN FEAR AND THEN ABSOLUTELY STUTTERED AND BLUSHED MY WAY THROUGH SAYING HELLO TO THIS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AND SOFT AMAZING MAN, Damn. This guy seems amazing, cause he just grinned and warmly went along with her and we said hello and such, and then i basically threw the phone at my brother and sat there in extremely concerned bemusment for the next 30 minutes

So yeah, that's it. I have no idea as to the inner workings of this woman's mind, but it shortens years off of this disaster bisexual's life. I am never prepared for her when she calls.

I hope yall enjoyed. I havent told a disaster bi story for awhile, and so I figured id share this one cause it greatly and equally amuses And stresses me out. I hope to typos arent too bad cause I'm half asleep✌

[t0ngue-tech]

All Yours | Seven

“’Was I not enough for you…?’

Seolhyun parted her lips but hesitated to say anything. She also dropped her head, possibly trying to get everything in her mind organized.

‘Yoongi, I’m so sorry.’ She said sadly.”

↠fluff, angst, universityAU↞

word count: 4.5k

↠series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ↞

A/N: yall idk what’s gotten into me. i literally just uploaded a story and here i am with the update of all yours lmao. tbh ive also been working on this chapter for a while so tyj i finished it huhu. enjoy ^-^

-

-

-

“Come on, Yoongi. Just text her.” You stood in front of your mirror and adjusted your hoodie.

From the moment you woke up, had a cup of coffee, took a shower, and changed into an outfit, Yoongi spent the entire time debating if he really wanted to text Seolhyun. You agreed to go with him to see her because it was his stipulation, but he was the one hesitating.

“You know what, maybe I don’t need closure. It’s all good.” Yoongi placed his phone on your nightstand and laid back down.

“Ugh. Yoongs.” You grumbled and strode over to sit beside him. “Sure you may not need closure, but I know deep down you want to talk about your feelings. You don’t deserve to be cheated on—nobody does. Please text her.”

Yoongi glared at you for a few seconds before he softened his eyes. He mumbled something along the lines of I hate it when you’re right and reached for his phone but took a detour to grab your hand first.

“So, you promise you’re going to come with me? You’re not going to flake out?” He kept his eyes on your fingers as you lazily grazed the back of his hand.

Could he get any more adorable?

“I promise.” You replied earnestly. “But I start work at three today, so keep that in mind.”

Yoongi squeezed your hand and locked eyes with you. Never in your life did you ever picture yourself to be in this position. He held your hands before, mainly to guide you around places when you were extremely drunk but nothing like this. Yoongi had a sweet look in his eye with a smile to match and you were so sure you were dreaming. Yoongi was perfect. Why would Seolhyun want to cheat on him in the first place?

“Okay. Now, go to class.” Yoongi lifted your hand and kissed it. Your cheeks flared a bit and you probably failed to hide the disappointment in him not kissing you on your lips instead.

“Fine. But go outside and take a walk,” you gave him your dorm key. “You need some sunlight.”

After listening to Yoongi’s bullshit excuse about how sunlight was never necessary for him in the first place, you left his side to slip on your sneakers.

Why can’t time just fast forward to later? I just want Yoongi and Seolhyun to meet already so it can all be over with and done. How am I supposed to even focus in class?!

“Wait.”

Yoongi’s voice broke your thoughts and you stood up from your floor. He scooped you by your waist to press your body against his before stealing a long kiss on your lips. You felt your entire body relax and you clutched onto his nape to support yourself.

“You may have more knowledge about people’s behaviors and shit, but I know you well enough that you were waiting for that, right?” Yoongi said with a smirk after breaking the kiss. Your face bloomed crimson and you playfully shoved him a few inches away from you.

“Bye, Yoongi.” You walked away from him with bliss coursing through you and just before you stepped out of your dorm, you caught the satisfied grin on Yoongi’s face.

↠↞

I will die in this developmental psychology class, I swear.

Time in your psychology class always ticked on like you had nothing else planned for the day. You jotted down chicken scratch notes, promising yourself to fix them up when you had time later; thank goodness your professor put up the lecture slides at 7pm on the same day of class. You began to mindlessly doodle at the bottom of your paper.

So many things could go wrong later.

Three stick figures were drawn at the bottom; one with a crude drawing of a beanie, one with hair just below its “shoulders”, and one with long hair blacked out with your pen. You drew scribbles of symbols around the drawing of the figure with long hair indicating how pissed off Seolhyun would be if she saw you two together.

Ugh. I can hear her voice now.

“Why did you bring her?”

“Unless you were cheating on me first!”

You scribbled all over the drawing and turned over the page.

The same stick figures were drawn at the top this time and instead of symbols, you drew tears coming from the figure with long hair and hearts around the beanie figure; Seolhyun would be in tears, apologizing and begging Yoongi for forgiveness and he would play right into her and fall in love all over again.

This time, you fiercely scribbled over the drawing.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Like clockwork, you drew the stick figures. Hearts were drawn around the beanie and medium haired figures while the last one had a giant X covering its face; Seolhyun is completely cut out of the picture and forced to watch how lovey-dovey you and Yoongi were.

This drawing caused your face to heat up a little. There was no way Yoongi would show any affection towards you in front of her because he wasn’t the type to purposely make matters worse.

One last time the figures were drawn back onto your paper and this time, you drew speech bubbles with squiggly lines inside that ended with periods and a few exclamation points. The most likely scenario would be a calm conversation with a few outbursts between Yoongi and Seolhyun. The last thing anyone would want is making a huge scene in front of everyone—

Wait, I don’t even know where they’re meeting!

[10:32] You: hey, where are you two going to have this conversation anyway??????????

Yoongi’s reply came through like lightning.

[10:33] Yoongz: You know the benches outside of the library?

[10:33] Yoongz: There.

Great. We’re going to be in public…

His texts didn’t stop there.

[10:35] Yoongz: I told her to meet me at 11:15 so that you have time to be here before she comes.

[10:35] Yoongz: I’ll be wearing the light brown coat you gave me for my birthday and the blue beanie you hate so much

[10:36] Yoongz: You’ll be able to find me pretty easily.

That damn beanie.

The mental image of Yoongi in the blue beanie made you snicker, but you quickly cleared your throat realizing you were in class laughing to yourself like an idiot.

[10:40] You: okay. i’ll see you then

[10:40] You: fuk that beanie doe omfg.

↠↞

“So you’re seriously going to be there? With Yoongi and Seolhyun? Possibly arguing in front of you? Right in front of your salad?!”

Walking to the library, you gave Hani a quick call to update her with everything that had happened since you told her about Seolhyun cheating on Yoongi.

“Yes, right in front of my salad.” You laughed. “To be honest, I’m kind of scared. Like why did Yoongi have to say he kissed me! Actually… I don’t know what would be worse, her knowing the truth or his lie.”

“Either way she’s going to raise hell, but if you need me, you call and I’ll come running!”

You smiled softly. Hani was serious in the most endearing way possible.

“I know—” Yoongi’s blue beanie stood out at a table underneath one of the large trees. “Yoongi’s there. I’ll call you later Hani or better yet, I work at three so you can come to the coffee shop anytime after that and I’ll update you on what happens.”

“Okay. Be safe. I love you!”

“I love you, too.”

You took a deep breath and approached Yoongi who had two cups of coffee and two sandwiches sitting in front of him. As much as you hated that damn beanie, he still looked as handsome as ever.

“Hi, Yoongs.” You smiled.

Yoongi instantly smiled at the sight of you. “Hey—no, sit by me.” He reached for your hand to stop you from sitting across from him and tugged you over to sit beside him instead.

The action startled you and almost made you lose your footing, but Yoongi supported you by the waist to let you sit down without injury.

“Th-Thanks.” You stuttered.

“Oh, here you go by the way.” He handed you a paper gift bag that he probably stole from your closet. “You left your work shirt and shoes. There’s also a water bottle in here because you need actual hydration and not just coffee swimming throughout your bloodstream.”

Everything he mentioned was sitting neatly inside the bag and your smile was impossible to hide. You’ve been nervous and jittery about meeting with Seolhyun that you completely forgot about your work clothes. Yoongi was a life saver.

“Thank you, Yoongi.” You breathed.

“Of course. Now eat, you didn’t even have breakfast this morning.”

As you had brunch, you spent the time complaining to Yoongi about how developmental psychology makes you want to jab multiple pens in your eyes. He argued that you say that about every class you have and even flicked your forehead.

“You’re doing great though, so keep on keepin’ on.” Yoongi rubbed the spot he flicked with the pad of his thumb.

You felt the weight of your school work elevate at the touch of his finger. Yoongi had the power to relieve any stress that you had in the palm of his hand and it amazed you. Maybe this was just the effect of you being whipped for him for almost a year. It sounded pathetic, but you enjoyed it nonetheless.

“A-hem.”

Both you and Yoongi tore your eyes away from each other to find Seolhyun standing at the opposite side of the table with her arms folded across her chest. Her eyebrows were furrowed and daggers shot from her eyes right into your own. The aura that came off of her was no less than intimidating and you felt as if your soul left your body.

Fuck.

↠↞

“What is she doing here?!” Seolhyun barked as she took a seat.

“I asked her to come so just leave her be.” Yoongi spat.

You silently observed Seolhyun’s outfit; she wore a casual black dress that stopped above mid-thigh and had a deep v-neck line. A cream cardigan hugged her frame and she even made time to put on makeup and curl your hair. If your suspicions were correct, she dressed that way on purpose to use her looks to win back Yoongi somehow. Seolhyun was honestly gorgeous which made you nervous. What if it reeled him back in? 

She cleared her throat again and avoided eye contact with Yoongi. “Thank you for meeting with me.” Her voice grew softer and softer towards the end of her sentence and she fiddled with the ends of her hair. This gave off a vulnerable look, almost “cute”. 

“Okay.” Yoongi said sharply.

The tension in the air was suffocating and all you wanted to do was run away, but Yoongi kept his hand on your knee underneath the table to keep you at bay.

“So? Anything else you need to say?” Yoongi kept the same tone of voice, annoyed. He truly didn’t want to be here.

“Sigh. I’m sorry okay? God, can we just talk without you being mad at me?!” Seolhyun raised her voice a bit.

“Of course I’m mad! How the hell am I supposed to be feeling? You cheated on me!” Yoongi raised his voice as well and you were even more nervous. You three were sitting in public with students walking by and you were praying to God that everyone was just minding their own business.

“Y-You cheated on me too! You—!” She pointed at him. “—kissed her!” Her finger was now on you.

Yoongi furrowed his brows and squeezed your knee. “Alright, fine. I kissed her once and like I said, I knew I had to tell you because I was feeling so fucking guilty about what I did. You were my girlfriend, Seolhyun! I had to be honest with you.”

Seolhyun tightly pursed her lips together, probably stopping herself from saying anything else.

“How…” Yoongi breathed. “How long have you been…”

Your eyes softened at the sight of Yoongi faltering. He didn’t want to say it. You reached beneath the table to hold that had that was on top of your knee. Instantly, you watched his shoulders relax.

“Um…” Seolhyun chewed on her bottom lip and picked at the skin around her nails. “Just-Just once..”

Bullshit.

“Don’t you think Yoongi deserves a lot more honesty that?” You boldly questioned. Talking was never part of your agenda, but it’s true, he deserved to know the truth after tearing himself apart from agonizing over his self-worth.

“Excuse me?” Seolhyun stared you down and you couldn’t back down no matter how much you wanted to.

“I–I don’t think you’re telling him the truth.” You tried to sound confident, but your stutter gave it away.

Seolhyun scoffed and crossed her arms. “Who do you think you—”

“She’s right. I don’t think you’re telling me the truth either.” Yoongi interjected. “For Seung Ho to talk to y/n about our situation kind of shows how close you two really are.”

“My thoughts exactly.” You said softly.

Seolhyun aggressively scratched the back of her head. “Ugh. Two months!” She blurted out. “Two-fucking-months! There’s the truth! Happy now?”

Your eyes widened then turned to Yoongi who was looking in Seolhyun’s direction with an empty expression. After remaining quiet for about a minute, a low chuckle pushed past his lips.

“Is that why we’ve been fighting so much lately?” There were hints of both sadness and anger in his tone. “This was why you’ve been so short with me? You would cut our dates short—it was because you would rendezvous with Seung Ho?”

“Y-Yoongi.” You whispered and gently rubbed the back of his hand, trying to calm him down.

“Do you know what the fuck I’ve been going through because of this?! I continuously questioned what I was doing wrong—was I not making you happy anymore? Did I do something to piss you off? Was I not buying you enough flowers on the weekends? Altering my class schedule to match yours wasn’t enough? Skipping class to spend time with you? I talked my friends’ ears off trying to figure out why I didn’t seem important in your eyes anymore…” Yoongi kept his head down and squeezed your hand to the point where his nails could draw blood from your skin. “Was I not enough for you…?”

Seolhyun parted her lips but hesitated to say anything. She also dropped her head, possibly trying to get everything in her mind organized.

“Yoongi, I’m so sorry.” She said sadly.

For the first time in a while, she sounded genuine.

“You were enough for me, but I—I guess… I guess I was being selfish and I wanted more.” Seolhyun lifted her eyes in search of Yoongi’s but he still kept his head down.

“You could’ve told me.” Yoongi choked out. “You could’ve talked to me about how you were feeling and maybe—maybe things could’ve worked out.”

It was your turn to lower your head. This was truly an issue between Yoongi and Seolhyun. There was no reason for you to inject yourself into the conversation anymore.

“Is there any way we could work past this?” Seolhyun asked.

Yoongi finally met her eyes. “No. No way in hell.”

He fumbled with your hand to let go and reached into his pocket to pull out his keyring and wallet. He detached Seolhyun’s dorm key and pulled out a polaroid photo of her from inside his wallet. “Here. I don’t need these anymore.”

Yoongi reached back underneath the table in search of your hand and you stealthy met him halfway.

“Please. Just go, Seolhyun. We’re done here.” Yoongi said firmly.

Seolhyun sat there for a couple seconds and then reached forward to retrieve her belongings. As she stood up from the table, she kept her eyes on Yoongi hoping he would say something else, but he remained silent. Shortly after, Seolhyun took her leave without Yoongi sparing her a single glance.

↠↞

Even with the hustle and bustle of students walking all over campus, the world had never been so quiet. Yoongi had his head down, face buried in the crook of his elbow while still holding onto your hand. You weren’t sure when was the best time to speak, so you kept quiet waiting for him to break the silence first.

It almost physically hurt staring at Yoongi. He had been bottling up so many painful emotions to the point where it almost consumed him. He didn’t deserve to go through this.

“Y/n?” Yoongi finally spoke, but the rest of his sentence was muffled behind his coat sleeve.

“I-I’m sorry, Yoongi. I can’t really hear you.”

“Thank you for coming with me.” He turned his head and made heavy eye contact with you. “Saying all those things… I don’t think I would've been able to do it on my own, but you being here gave me strength to do so.”

His words caused a noticeable blush to form on your cheeks. He chuckled and sat up straight to tuck a few of your hairs behind your ears.

“I think you have enough time left to get to your next class from here. I’ll walk you.” Yoongi lifted you up by your arm and you almost didn’t want to go to class. All you wanted was to sit around and hold his hand all day. The thought of that made you blush even more and this made Yoongi laugh a little harder. “What’s the matter with you? Come on.”

Unfortunately, Yoongi didn’t hold your hand when he walked you to class. This was probably because it felt too soon to do so in public. It’s not like he and Seolhyun were the campus couple, but people might get the wrong idea if they knew they were dating.

After the whole thing with Yoongi and Seolhyun, it made it even harder for you to concentrate. Now that they were broken up, who knows if Yoongi still had anymore underlying feelings for her. They were together for a year, so there had to be some leftover right? Plus, Yoongi made a comment the other night about how he thought about why you kissed him and that he “figured it out.” This meant a whole new conversation, a whole new reason to be nervous.

Fucking great.

This was a conversation you weren’t looking forward to. You needed to prepare yourself somehow, but it seemed like no matter how much you could mentally prepare yourself, you still wouldn’t be ready. After knowing Yoongi for roughly a little over two years and falling for him like an idiot, never in your life did you imagine him finding out about how you felt about him.

You would be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t even a little happy. You kissed Yoongi, held his hand, and even shared a bed with him with your feelings unknowingly exposed in the air. It made you giddy; butterflies roaming around in your stomach, fighting the urge to smile whenever you thought about him. If only the circumstances were different, life would’ve been near perfect for you.

Class dragged on, notes were written down, doodles were drawn, and next thing you knew, you were tying your work apron around your waist.

“Where’s Yoongi? He didn’t walk you here?” Seokjin asked.

“Nah. His energy gauge was pretty much empty by the time he was done talking with Seolhyun so he decided to just nap for a few hours.”

“Okay, so, what’s the tea?” Seokjin stood near you, eagerly waiting for you to tell him all the juicy details.

You playfully shoved him away and walked over to the espresso machine. “I’m not saying anything until Hani gets here.”

“Aw, come on, y/n. She won’t be here till like five or something!”

You chuckled to yourself and continued to ignore all of Seokjin’s pleads for information.

The moment Hani walked through the coffee shop doors, the first words she shouted was “okay bitch, bring forth the tea!”—this was said with a shop full of students. You were immediately put on the spot, but Hani’s intentions meant well.

You made sure to include all details of the confrontation when you told Seokjin and Hani about it. You also made sure to keep your voice low because you weren’t sure who knew Seolhyun, Yoongi, or even Seung Ho. This wasn’t your story to tell, but both Hani and Seokjin were there from the beginning so it seemed fitting for them to know it all too.

Evening came just as quickly as your shift started. Hani didn’t mean to stay so late, but she got pretty invested in the situation between Seolhyun and Yoongi. Both you and Seokjin did his best to keep all of Hani’s reactions at bay, but you had to admit, it was entertaining. At least she was nice enough to help the coffee shop employees close up.

“Wouldn’t your knight in shining armor show up by now?” Hani joked. 

“You need to relax—oh, bye!” You chuckled and threatened her with a broomstick and waved two of your co-workers who were heading out.

“It’s true, y/n. He’s supposed to waltz in here and be like ‘my lady, I have arrived. Your chariot awaits.’” Seokjin pranced around the room and even bowed and took your hand in his.

“And by ‘chariot’, you mean his legs right? Because the dorms are within walking distance?” You laughed.

“Well, yes, b-but anyways let me finish,” Seokjin cleared his throat. “So your knight in shining armor swoops in—” he went from holding your hand to picking you up bridal style. “—picks you up and saves you from the dungeon aka the coffee shop! And then Yoongi says—”

“Seokjin, what in zakum’s name are you doing?”

At the mention of his name coming from behind him, Seokjin froze in his tracks and turned around to find Yoongi staring at him with a questionable look.

“I—uh—” Seokjin panicked, almost dropping you on the floor but he still managed to place you back on your feet. “Alrighty-roo, well, Hani—babe, shall we take our leave?”

All Hani could do was laugh until her stomach hurt and Seokjin dragged her out of the coffee shop by her hand; she laughed so much that she could barely properly say bye to you and Yoongi.

“Do I even want to know?” Yoongi asked hesitantly.

“No, you really don’t.”

Yoongi helped you flip up the chairs onto the table while you continued to sweep the floor. As you two cleaned up, you proceeded to tell him about your day and apologized for telling Seokjin and Hani what happened in the afternoon. He brushed it off because he also trusted them.

Unlike your busy day, Yoongi spent his entire day eating, sleeping, and watching netflix; he exaggerated that it was a packed schedule. He even mentioned that Seolhyun still tried to call and text him, but he ignored every single attempt.

“You know, I think she dressed up that way today to lure you back to her with her looks.” You confessed.

“Huh. You think so?” Yoongi walked behind the counter where you were wiping around the sink.

You shrugged your shoulders. “Yeah, I mean, it’s been pretty cold lately and she shows up in an outfit that could barely keep her warm. She curled her hair, put on makeup, like why is doing all of that necessary to meet up with you? It seems so—what?”

Yoongi was just staring at you with a smirk plastered on his face. “Were you worried that it was going to work?”

A blush bloomed on your cheeks. “N-No. I just think it was ridiculous, that’s all.”

He stepped closer and stood behind you, placing his hands on the metal countertop to cage you in between his arms.

“You know, you observe others pretty well but from my observations from knowing you, you kind of suck at lying.” Yoongi laughed and you forced a chuckle out. You weren’t going to even deny it.

From the counter, Yoongi lifted his hands to secure them around your waist, hugging you from behind. You made a few attempts to move around to clean the counter properly, but he remained.

“Yoongi, I have to clean.” You chuckled.

“Just—” He briefly let you go to spin you around so he could hug you from the front. “Five minutes. Let’s stay like this for five minutes, please.”

It was such a genuine request, how could you say no?

Yoongi was leaning into you with his face buried in the crook of your neck. You had your arms lazily slung around his shoulders and just listened to his faint breathing. The blonde tips of his hair tickled your nose a bit, so you gently slide your hand across his nape to brush down his hair. He hugged you tighter at your sudden action and sighed.

“You’re really going to touch me like that, y/n?” The teasing tone in his voice was enough to raise your temperature and cause a blush to appear on your cheeks.

“Y-Yoongi!” You tried to push him away, already feeling embarrassed, but he just continued to hold you.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Yoongi snickered. “It’s fine, keep touching my hair.”

You were still feeling embarrassed because that was the first time Yoongi used that tone of voice with you. Nonetheless, you listened and continued to stroke his hair. Thankfully he didn’t wear that awful beanie.

Yoongi didn’t say another word and every once in a while, he’d caress your back and readjust himself. Small sparks ignited at the simplest touch and for some reason you wanted to laugh. This was everything you wanted but it did confuse you as to how comfortable Yoongi was doing all of this to you. All you did was kiss him once and the next moment he’s acting as if you two were dating for years.

“Okay, I’m recharged. Continue your cleaning.” He emerged from your body and cupped your cheek. Even if you were the one embarrassed, Yoongi still had a hue of pink displayed at the tops of his cheeks.

For the next ten minutes, you swiftly cleaned up the stations and tossed out the garbage in the dumpster out back. Yoongi waited patiently and even gathered all of your things for you from the back room.

“So you’re opening tomorrow?” Yoongi asked whilst helping you adjust your hoodie.

“Sadly, yeah. So we can talk first then I’ll head straight to bed.”

“We can talk tomorrow, it’s fine. You need your rest.”

“B-But—”

Yoongi stole another kiss from you, probably to shut you up and it worked; it left you utterly speechless. You had to get used to this somehow.

“Tomorrow.” Yoongi whispered. “For now, let’s go home.”

Home?

There was no doubt that Yoongi was referring to your dorm as home since he stayed there the entire day. The idea of him considering your place as “home” gave you butterflies.

Home was a safe sanctuary. Home was a place where someone can easily unravel themselves to be at peace. Home was where the heart was and Yoongi was there with you.

“Yeah.” You blushed. “Let’s go home.”

-

-

-

♡ rae jagi

[pinkykitten]

The best date ever

DC

Arthur Curry x female! reader

Warning: curse words

Specifics: fluff, romance, comedy, one-shot, pictures, gifs, race-neutral reader

People: arthur curry, you, diana prince 

Words: 2,620

Requested: By @divaanya Hi!!! So about that sequel to The Old Man's Tale.. 😍😂 I'm not sure if you wanted specifics here or in submissions, so I'll put them here... I was thinking simply about them having that dinner, maybe Arthur picking her up in the morning, showing her around the town, then them eating and talking about her drawings and just fluff...😍😍😍 And I'd love to read anyting you feel like writing about them... And any other aquaman fics you come up with!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Authors Note: srry fam for not posting in a while, ive just been rlly stressed out lately with some personal things like my plate is so full. so pls fam be patient i am still writing just at a slow pace, i need to find a good time to write so im still working that out rn. i hope u guys like this, again srry my peeps! <3<3<3

“Oh my god,” you shouted as you quickly rose up from your slumber, remembering today was the day. “Crap! I have that date with,” you sigh. “My sexy hunk of a hero.”

At the speed of light you got ready, making sure you looked beautiful and glamorous for this date. 

“Perfect,” you chuckled as you looked at yourself in the mirror, posing and modeling to yourself. 

All of a sudden you heard a car’s horn beep from outside. You grabbed your things such as your sketchbook, your phone, the same things Arthur had saved. You open the door and there is standing Arthur with a bouquet of flowers. 

“I found these and thought ‘hey they are beautiful’, and then I thought for a while ‘who could I give this to,’ and then I thought of you.” Arthur grinned from ear to ear, his personality seemed to beam and make the world a better place. 

“Awww these are for me? Arthur they are extremely beautiful,” you stand on your tippy toes and give him a peck on his cheek. “Thank you! Let me find a vase for these.”

While you are putting the flowers away, Arthur stares at you from afar. You are truly a beauty. He can’t help but linger longer in looking at your curves, your body. The way the dress hugged you tightly, the curve of your butt. Your legs that to him looked better than even Diana Prince. The way you moved yourself about made Arthur like you more, made him want to understand you and get to know you more. 

“You look really, really, really, pretty today y/n.” 

You turn around, bashful and place the vase on a nearby table, “oh stop you! But thank you, you always look handsome yourself Curry. Whelp are you ready to go?”

“Ready as ready can get sweetheart,” Arthur opened the door for you. “But before we eat, how about I show you the best places around town?”

“I would really like that,” you smile as you take Arthur’s hand that he offered you and go to his car.

As Arthur’s driving a sweet melody of a tune is playing on the radio, making the morning relaxing. 

“I can’t wait to see where you live! All the stuff you do daily, things that make you happy, stuff like that,” you smile as you wrap your tiny arm around his strong, muscled one. Arthur grins seeing how adorable you are and how interested you look at knowing about his home. 

(ok but i love this gif because his smile is the bomb and the scrunchie is my life; sometimes i ask myself, how r we the same species?)

He gently holds your small hand and laces his thick fingers with yours. You peer up at him and see he is speaking about something the opposite way. Your heart beats vigorously, you are bashful and try to hear what he is talking about but you just stare at your two hands together, his and yours. They looked perfect as one, this meant something right?

“So what do you think, onto another sight?” Arthur asked, now his focus was on you. You fanned yourself and breathed harshly, “ooh is it me or is it extremely hot in here? Wooo, woah, ok, wow.”

“Y/n, its colder than an igloo in here, how in god’s name are you hot?”

“...menopause?”

Arthur chuckled, knowing exactly why you were like this. He knew it was about him holding your hand. He felt the way you tensed up when he did that, it made him for some reason happy. Happy to know that you were nervous around him because then you care about how he sees you, you care about his feelings. 

“You look beautiful by the way sweetheart. You know what I don’t think there has ever been a day for you when you didn’t look beautiful.”

You swatted his way as you chuckled while rolling your eyes, “you’re too much Arthur Curry. Do you flirt with all your girls like this?”

“No...just you.”

Your eyes bugged wide open and you tried to change the subject. “What’s that place over there?”

“Oh that, that’s the ice skating rink. Its been there for like forever, its really fun. It may not look much but that’s where people just enjoy each others company, love birds, kids, teenagers, you name it, they go there.”

“That sounds so nice. Lovebirds you say though?” You raise your brow as your arm rests on the center console of the car. Arthur turns his head from the window to you and his head moves closer to yours. In a sultry, raspy, deep voice he says, “yeah many, many lovebirds go there. They dance around each other and sometimes get to touch.” Arthur comes closer and his lips almost go to yours, but then he stops. He smiles, “that means then we should go!” He gets out of the car so quickly you didn’t have a chance to think about what just happened. 

“What!?!”

One minute you thought you were going to kiss this hunk of a merman and now he’s wanting to go ice skating, and you don’t even know how to ice skate! Then you realized, he was trying to play hard to get. He flirts and tries to kiss you and then he doesn’t! “Well, two can play it that game!” You thought in your head. 

“Okay I should of told you this but Arthur...I can’t skate!” Your holding onto Arthur for dear life as you stand on the ice with the skates on.

“Well lets just practice a little, I’m gonna let go-

“No Arthur don’t you let go I swear if you let go I’m gonna punch you in the balls so hard that you’re gonna wish you were a woman, don’t you let go!”

“And when I let go y/n, lets see if you can skate on your own. Okay 1, 2, 3.” Arthur lets you go and pushes you forward to bring speed to you. You slide forward with a shriek as you can’t stop. As you’re about to fall to your death Arthur comes to the rescue and picks you up with ease. “Man, sweetheart I’ve already saved your life twice. I should get a reward.”

Arthur holds your hand as he practically guides you through on the ice. “Yeah you want to see your reward?” You smack his torso and shoulders but unfortunately with your size compared to his you didn’t really do much damage.

“Ouch what was that for?”

“What was that for? Arthur I nearly almost died...again! You pushed me you hot, idiot, jerk, stupid, guy!” You look straight up into his eyes with an angry face. 

“So you think I’m hot?” Arthur comes closer to you. 

You try to slide back but you trip and that makes Arthur strong hands go to your back, near your butt and bring you closer to his body. “I never said a thing like that.”

Arthur’s handsome face gets closer with yours and his body is touching your body, tightly pressed together. “I think you did, I know you did.”

You look away as you put your hands up. His lips go to your ear, “don’t worry y/n, I think I’m hot as well.”

Your face becomes annoyed as you shove his face away from you and roll your eyes. “Haha, good one.” You say sarcastically as his laughter booms loudly. He laughed so hard he had to wipe a tear. “Was it really that funny Arthur?”

Arthur nods, “oh yeah definitely. You should of seen your face!”

“HAHAHAHAHA WELL YOU SHOULD OF FELT YOUR JUNK, CUZ IT WAS GIVING A STANDING OVATION!” You then laugh really hard at your joke and pretend to wipe a tear. You see Arthur’s face as he gives you a death glare. You chuckle some more as he skates towards you. He wraps his hand in yours and you two skate like normal people do, or how the lovebirds do. 

It was actually really romantic. 

“There you go sweetheart, just like that.” You actually were skating correctly, of course holding for dear life onto Arthur, but still you did it. You were skating smoothly, almost perfectly. 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m doing it!” You smiled up at Arthur, your smile beaming. This made Arthur happy and his heart pound. He couldn’t focus on anything except you, the way you looked up at him. You looked like a goddess, like his whole life revolved around you. Like you were meant to be his, and he was meant to be yours. 

“Arthur, Arthur, Arthur! We’re gonna crash!”

As soon as you said that you and him crashed into the wall. Before your body could hit the cold, harsh ice, Arthur fell on his back but caught you just in time. 

“Oh my! Arthur are you okay?” You felt yourself being carried and laid, on your stomach, on his chest. His eyes were shut, so you shook him and tried to get him to wake up. “Arthur please wake up! Are you okay?”

You were starting to get worried that he hurt himself badly until he woke up. “Did I scare you?”

You smacked his face a couple of times, “Are you serious? Yes you scared me Arthur! I thought you were hurt. C’mon lets go somewhere to eat because I am starving.”

Arthur got up with your help and placed his hand on your hip as you two walked to the car. “Hey, thanks for worrying about me.” Arthur bent down and kissed your cheek, then he walked to his car leaving you all bashful. 

“I swear this boy,” you muttered.

You two ended up deciding to go to a pizza restaurant. (if u dont like pizza then u r cursed and have sinned because pizza is a gift from god) 

As you walked in the smell was good! It smelled delicious! Your stomach growled at the thought of fresh, hot pizza. 

“Sorry for keeping you waiting. We could of gotten food sooner.” Arthur looked at the menu by the cashier. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder. If no one knew it, it looked as if you two were a couple.

Suddenly Arthur stomach growls. “Well if you were hungry Arthur, we could of gotten some food.”

Arthur puts his hair in a man bun with his light pink scrunchie, you could tell he was embarrassed. “I didn’t want to interrupt you having fun on the ice.”

You stood on your tippy toes and kissed Arthur’s cheek, “thank you, that was really sweet of you.”

After you two bought the pizza, you guys sat at the booth by the window. 

“This looks so good! I’m starving!”

“Well y/n, bon appetit!”

You ate like you haven’t eaten in years, the pizza was so perfect and so delicious in your mouth. The atmosphere was perfect. Jazz music was playing in the background, there were not too many people there but enough to hear talking. It was gloomy looking outside since it was so cold. You took your coat off and placed it next to you. 

“So I saw your sketchbook, what do you draw?” Arthur asked, taking a gigantic bite out of his Hawaiian pizza. 

“Oh pretty much everything. Yeah, I like to draw animals, settings, but mostly people. I mean I love art but sketching and drawing is my passion, it lets me vent as much as possible. I just think about life when I draw. Think about how I want to better my life, how to better me.” You find yourself getting off the discussion. “Sorry, I’m talking too much aren’t I?”

Arthur placed his hand on yours and smiled, “not at all. Please continue.”

“I wanted to get away from my day to day life. Sometimes doing the same thing over and over, day by day can be such a bore and honestly tiresome. That’s why I needed to come here. I wanted to experience a place like never before, and also encourage myself to draw more.”

“Well I’m glad you made that decision to come here, if you hand’t then I would not have met you.”

“Thank you Arthur.”

“Can I see your drawings?”

You started choking on your piece of pizza, “what? You mean like mine, my drawing as in my own, like mine?”

“I’m pretty sure mine means that.”

You chuckled and scratched the back of your head, “I don’t know Arthur, they’re not that good.”

Arthur gave you a wink, “c’mon y/n, I know they’ll look amazing.”

You pull out your sketchbook from your bag and hand it to him. 

“Wow y/n,” was all he said as he was mesmerized, captivated by your art. “You are incredible y/n, just incredible! I’m speechless with how you draw.”

“Thanks, it feels good to have someone important say such great things about them.”

Arthur almost turns to the page you don’t want him to see. “Um don’t see that drawing.”

Arthur raises his brow, “why not?”

“Because it has something personal on there.” You try to grab it but Arthur is too quick and moves it away from you. “Give it back Arthur!”

“Wait! I want to see what it is.” As he says this he turns the page to show a drawing of him. 

You feel hot and so embarrassed. Your hands become so sweaty and your heart pounds. Will he think your drawing is weird or stupid? 

“Y/n, this is so beautiful. I can’t believe you drew me.” Arthur was baffled at your gift. Just from seeing him in a short time you sketched him out like you knew him for many years. You got each curve and each detail of his face and body. 

“I studied your face long and hard when you picked me up. I had to draw out my hero.” 

Arthur’s smile made you fall more in love with him. “I’m sorry if me drawing you was weird. I can just get rid of it when I go back to my cabin.”

“No! Please y/n, don’t. Please don’t get rid of this amazing drawing. Hel* I wish I could draw you, but not even a dam* drawing would show and describe how beautiful you are, not words not art, nothing. You are so frickin gorgeous and sweet y/n, you really are.” Next thing you knew Arthur got up and sat next to you in the booth. Feeling shy you backed away in the booth but this just made Arthur get extremely closer to you. His wild blue eyes were half lidded as he was overpowered with love and lust for you, and to be honest so were you. Arthur came closer and closer to you until his huge body trapped your tiny, fragile one against the wall. “I so wanna kiss you right now,” breathed out Arthur, rubbing delicately your cheek. 

“I wanna kiss you so bad too,” you said in a whisper, looking directly at Arthur’s plump lips. Without no hesitation Arthur’s lips crashed on yours. You two didn’t care who was watching or who was there. This kiss was needed. Arthur’s tongue slipped in your mouth in one swift movement, but just as quick as it went in it went out. He was teasing you! He was showing you what was to come if you two spent the night in a sexual escapade. You two made out a few more seconds until you and him separated to catch your breaths. He leaned his forehead against yours, “boy am I glad you decided to come here for your vacation.”

You chuckled and touched Arthur’s facial hair, “me too Arthur. Me too.”

Tag List: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @dreamsofwhiteandblack, @hyehoney, @wtfisalltherandoms, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag) , @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @polyglot-t, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @collectiveyou, @divaanya

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[widowerthoughts]

The official diagnosis

While I am a psychologist, I'm not in the clinical side of things at all. I still studied some of that side of the field along the way, so I'm familiar even if I shouldn't be going around diagnosing anyone... including myself. I still will though. I know that they've changed some of the criteria in the DSM V, and tried to make a point of taking away necessary symptoms for diagnoses that weren't actually statistically tied to the disorder, and so on. I've got a DSM IV TR on the shelf though, so I'm using it. Close enough. Let's see what it has to say about posttraumatic stress disorder. First, it should be differentiated from acute stress disorder primarily by timeframe. Acute stress disorder onsets within a month of the extreme stressor, and resolves within a month. I'm a year and two months out, and still largely miserable, so that's not it. Posttraumatic stress disorder can onset immediately after the stressor, or can have a delayed onset, sometimes after a period of dissociation. It can resolve in four months, or can last longer than a year fairly commonly. Let's see what the actual criteria are. .... A. The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following were present: (1) the person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or othersYep. That's the whole problem (2) the person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror. Note: In children, this expressed instead by disorganized or agitated behaviorI think this one is gone in the newer criteria, but helplessness certainly B. The traumatic event is persistently reexperienced in one (or more) of the following ways: (1) recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions. Note: In young children, repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of trauma are expressed.Yep, as I try to sleep every few nights (2) recurrent distressing dreams of the event. Note: In children, there may be frightening dreams recognizable content.Not really, thankfully. Dreams have actually been getting slightly better (3) acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur on awakening when intoxicated). Note: In young children, trauma-specific reenactment may occur.Thank God no. I think this is more common with action filed traumas though anyway (4) intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble aspect of the traumatic eventNot every time, but yes. Certain words, certain plotlines, certain hospital equipment can hit me. It's less intense now than it used to be, but... (5) physiological reactivity on exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble of the traumatic eventNot as much anymore. It definitely used to happen though. Quickening of my heart rate, tightening of my muscles C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness before the trauma), as indicated by three (or more) of the following: (1) efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the traumaGenerally no on this one. Probably the closest thing I have to a healthy behavior (2) efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the traumaYes on this one, but it's restricted to some specific cues for the most part. The hospital, primarily. Maybe I should count it as a half point or something (3) inability to recall an important aspect of the traumaNo. I've seen it with others, but every bit of memory is extraordinarily clear to me instead (4) markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activitiesYep (5) feeling of detachment or estrangement from othersAt least some, but I don't know if I'd characterize it as estrangement exactly. Avoidance, withdrawal maybe. (6) restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings)Definitely. Happiness itself is confusing, but I've also got a restricted downward range at this point (7) sense of a foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, normal life span)Ugh. Maybe. Not foreshortened exactly, but stagnant or meaningless. A sense of a future without a sense that said future had much value. Not sure if that's the same realm or not though D. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present before the trauma), as indicated by two (or following: (1) difficulty falling or staying asleepGood God yes (2) irritability or outbursts of angerIrritability definitely. I can generally restrain from outbursts though (3) difficulty concentratingIn multiple orders of magnitude, yes (4) hypervigilanceNot really (5) exaggerated startle responseNot this one, though I definitely experienced it for the first six months or so. I was jumping at every squirrel that moved through the yard past the window E. Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in Criteria B, C, and D) is more than 1 month.One year, two months, two days. F. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other of functioning.Here's the part that might reduce a real diagnosis. I'm relatively high functioning at this point. I'm not nearly as good at work as I used to be, staring blankly at research documents rather than writing them easily. I don't hang out with friends much. But I kind of function. Just a lot of distress. Whether it's a clinically significant amount or not at this point, who knows Specify if: Acute: if duration of symptoms is less than 3 months Chronic: if duration of symptoms is 3 months or moreYep Specify if: With Delayed Onset: if onset of symptoms is at least 6 months after the stressor ....Yep. That all sounds about right. Maybe I'm on the lighter end of the spectrum at this point, but it does seem to fit. That said, it's still only the stressor itself that bothers me, not my symptomology.

[mefukimeme-gonebithc]

SWINGS OPEN DOOR FRANTICALLY AND POINTS AT ALL THE EMOJIS: do it

.........................oh boy

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

HMMM most of them id rather not talk about since theyre really personal/a lot of them arent really secrets since i have talked abt them but they can easily go unnoticed sooooo

im confessing to having a thing for gloves i guess??? specifically black cloth gloves (im not a fan of leather, feels Weird) so. ye. 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

All (in the end id probably be getting hugged tho haha im v awkward at hugging vs being hugged)

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

CARBINKS!!! anything that i deem cute is my favourite (ex. r/owlets, m/imikyus, bonus since theyre a dark/fairy >:3c!!, pum/pkaboo, etc) 

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

donald trump would be dead and obama can stay president for another 4 years until the world gains potential candidates that arent shitty

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

I Dont Think I Want To Talk About It. ill just link the post. (btw thats my dream journal blog, i should use it more)

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i have multiple so hmm.....maybe the fact they put up with my gay bullshit

😘 talk about your crush or partner

gay. moving on.

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya betch

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

-hair

-singing

-cuteness factor

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

HMM im mainly scared of losing my friends and thatll take more than just mental training to move on, but uhh i DO have a mild fear of getting assaulted..........idk how to fix that bc its actually really bad paired up w paranoia

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

kuro kiryu. he can also easily make me cRY WHEN HES A FUCKING RANKING CARD.

💙 what annoys you about some people?

when they do stuff theyre not asked to do and complain like “oh my GOd [persons name] why cant you do this??? im so tired, i just wanna rest, but i HAVE to do this!!” like shut up no one asked you to do it, if youre so tired to rest first and then do it.

another irritating thing is people who use the term “special snowflake” unironically especially on kids who make edgy/mary sue ocs like shut up ugly let them grow up and regret their choices by themselves, dont teach them its okay to make fun of younger people for their edgy ocs

😤 do you get angry easily?

irritated??? ya, angry??? no

youd have to do some fucked shit to get me angry, but i do get irritated fast

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

I DONT THINK I CAN TALK ABOUT THEM HERE,,,

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

-education system

-change how the U.S. ignores the struggles of third world countries unless it profits them/benefits them

-solar energy  

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

“GKL JGAE THE ODDBALLS”

kiss - wataru

befriend - rei

marry - natsume

kill - shu

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

SAN DIEGO!!! its got such a nice vibe, its never too hot there, NATURE!!! I LOVE THE SCENERY THERE EVEN IN THE CITY THERES TREES AND ITS SO NICE!! its just got such a nice vibe to it i havent felt anywhere else and its SO NICE!!

☕️ talk about your ideal day

ideal day, i get to be home alone, play both of AKATSUKI’s albums while talking and playing games with friends without worry ill be too loud to anyone else, i get good food, and i have a nice dream that i remember vividly

alternatively, visiting a bunch of greenhouses/nature filled areas would be Great

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

uhh im gonna go with ambivert/introvert leaning

💧 when was the last time you cried?

crying as in “i feel like Death”, literally a few hours ago because i remember the daikagura kuro.....

as in actually breaking down, yesterday was really bad grhgra

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

1. love letter of the brilliance of cherry blossoms

2. temptation magic

3. ryusei hanabi

4. hinakura to neji ama 

5. the living ghost is alive

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

HMMM this is actually hard for me to pick bc ive had multiple kins where i had powers fuc UHHH

its really hard for me to pick just one, so i guess ill just list off top 5 and why

1. teleportation - i could teleport to my friends cities, also i could prob trick people into thinking im running when im just teleporting inch by inch/foot by foot >:3c

2. deceiving ability like kano - ,,,it seems pretty neat

3. the ability to cheer people up - ,,, it seems pre

4. shapeshifting/transformation - theres absolutely no consequences to being able to make myself taller.........

5. weapon/item creation - i could just make headphones instead of buying them AND i can ensure theyll last

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont worry about how youre being treated now, itll get better

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

ahh, its hard for me to be jealous uhh

in one aspect, i guess te/tora since hes so energetic and hes paired so often with ku/ro...im pretty jealous

in another aspect, j/acksep/ticeye or th/omas san/ders. id love to be able to make a difference to others like how they do, not to mention id love to be as energetic as them

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

bravery definitely. im fairly kind, i have enough brain power (OOOOO AIEOU JOO-) to get by, im fine with how cute i am >;3c, wealth is good but over bravery which im very much lacking in, id rather be brave so i could do so many things id love to do......

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

in a joking manner: my kink for intimidating characters. @ me chill

in a serious matter: probably the fact im awful at trying to cheer people up and i feel awful fornot even trying anymore

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i know english, im VERY limited in thai/lao/japanese, and i know next to nothing of spanish/german/french but i did take a few notes about them bc i was bored. i wanna learn thai/lao the most so i can connect with my culture more, but japanese would be nice since a lot of stuff i enjoy is japanese and i dont wanna hastle others to translate stuff for me haha

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

KURO KIRYU I LOVE HIM

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

a universe where im energetic, not lazy, and motivated to continue on in life and make the world just a tad bit better. and i live with my friends in a nice house in san diego!!

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

,,, i really dont know, and thats why im disappointed in myself

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

demon. theres so many types of demons i dont have to be malicious, plus i could blend in fairly well. theres no rly big downside except ill be frowned upon by other divines

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

someone: you hurt my boyfriend you take away his fp you pretty much fuck him over and you proceed to have gross/abusive kinks shut the fuck up ugly i hate you so much and i never even talked to you i never want to see you mention his url or name ever again youre so awful

something: school fucking sucks and i can bring up a lot of reasons for this. 1: some of the teachers hired are only hired to educate, so personality wise they could be oppressive towards their students. 2: while i do feel like having a core lesson plan is okay, FORCING kids into certain core subjects is bad and they end up not learning because they feel like they HAVE to be their best or else theyll fail, and thats awful. the grading system isnt completely awful, since it shows kids areas that need to be improved, but making it some life changing thing is just...bad...because at that point it goes from “well you need to improve in these areas, so why dont we offer you help so theyll be easier!!” to “GET BETTER AT THIS OR BE FOREVER UNEMPLOYED” and i hate it. i could rant about this.

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

ive just been.....depressed bc of low swing my dude. a big issue would be my entire “i want to do good but i suck” thing, and yesterday i had a really bad dream as stated earlier and it made me extremely anxious for the entire day until i finally talked to my friend about it. theres also the fact i have school but theres no way i can finish it now

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

vet, now im like...im unsure... i wanna get into architech/floor planning/house designing and also be sort of like a youtube/internet idol??? if that makes sense......idk

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

ice cream is one of the only ones i can tolerate haha- i LOVE mochi ice cream but i cant get them fresh here since theres no east asian centric stores here (only southeast/hispanic fusion stores) so rip... ia lso like cheesecake a fair bit

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

kur/o kiryu. or e/nstars in general i guess

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

my breathing gets a bit faster, my chest starts vaguely aching and i get nauseous

😪 what are you sick of?

THE COLD. ITS S O C O L D. PLEASE HELP.

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

nope, not really. i do awful at horror games, im terrified of roller coasters, and the thought of jumping out of a plane makes me wanna decay

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

sh/u it/suki is Bad. the y/oi fandom is made up 80% of really bad fuj/oshi who later hopped onto an extremely controversial manhwa. hea/thens wasnt too bad of a song. i still like mi/necraft/happy tr/ee friends. i like rh/ythm games but dont like rh/ythm heaven. mc/a wasnt awful. ut/apri as an anime isnt too bad but definitely doesnt match up to the games quality in both art and story telling. id/olm@st/er is a tad bit over rated. ens/tars should be localized to ENG.

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

haha nope

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

draw/VERY rarely sew/read tarot, which is what im supposed to be doing anyways

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

uhhh it was either te/mptation magic or love letter of the brilliance of cherry blossoms

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

how i cant cheer people up or help people be more positive. ir aelly dont know how i can improve it my dude, but im thinking.

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

usually bunnies, but if im feelin crafty ill doodle an anime char

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

age mostly

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

INTP, and idk its just there

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

“the battle: ra*bits” MMMMMMMMM nito. dgmw i love mits/uru and i loved how energetic he was + i liked mitsuru too but ni/to introduced me to ku/ro in my canon and he was very supporting of me/tried his best to help me

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont really have a CELEBRITY celebrity fave but itd def be t/homas sanders internet wise

🐴 opinion on __?

“holds up kiibo”

a good boi. i trust him

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

ehh its actually really hard for me to become emotionally unless im deeply attached to something sooo not really

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

ghost girl, maximum ride, and cr*zy

i dont remember any quotes from the first and last books BUT “WE’RE LIKE FREAKIN BALLERINAS AND YOU ARE LIKE A FRIDGE WITH WINGS” will always be my fave

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

listen to music, isolate myself justtt a tad bit, and try to distract myself. it helps to a certain extent, but it wont save my ass

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

k/uro ki

🌍 which country do you live in?

america

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

a fucking asshole

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“you think youre ugly but youre just not your type” -some tumblr post i cant find atm

💭 do you keep a diary?

i keep a dream journal, but i stopped keeping diaries because im wayyy too paranoid someones gonna snoop

💫 who inspires you?

HMMMM chi/aki morisawa, tho/mas sanders, and j/acksepticeye

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

ye, theres no proof that they DONT exist (although you could argue theres also no evidence that they DO exist), PLUS i have had some experiences with ghosts! also itd be fuckin....awkward if id idnt considering i wanna get into s/pirit work

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

ko/toko ut/sugi is the only way i could describe it. kinda gothic-punk??? i used to be into yum/ekawaii and fa/iry kei but i ended up falling out of them.

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

MMM ri/se of the gua/rdians was pretty good, zo/otopia was also good...the book of life was really good and i wanna watch it again now ahhh

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

idonthaveonemymemorypastsixmonthsisgoneandmychildhoodwasfilledwithmebeinginsulted UHH one time in 6th grade i dated a dude and he gave me a teddybear/candy for valentines day and it was really nice, i felt bad since i didnt get him anything and i feel bad for not even breaking up with him to his face

🐱 what’s your dream pet like?

bunny. thats all

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be?

KURO KI

[bananahappyness]

Disappointment

I haven’t written here for a while. I just checked and it looks like my last post was about half a year ago. Recently, I’ve been thinking on the theme of disappointment. With this theme of disappointment, perhaps I can offer a bit of a life update.

2017 was a busy, tiring, stressful, and often lonely year.

(i) Finishing My First-Year of Law School (January - April, 2017)

I finished my first-year of law school in April. Exams were stressful, but they went well. I was feeling incredibly exhausted by the end of them though. I moved out of my apartment in Saskatoon.

(ii) My First Law Job (May - August 2017)

When I moved back to Vancouver, my parents had just sold my childhood home, and I came back to organize, pack, and move all my things at that home. After a major, pretty rushed, tiring, and stressful move, I slept on the living room floor of my brother’s apartment for a week, while I started my first week of summer articles at a law firm in Abbotsford. I later moved into my family’s new home. 

My summer articles were demanding and challenging. The learning curve was steep. I grew a lot professionally. I’m really thankful for the exposure I got to private practice. My firm was great and I really learned so much.  

The hours were long though. I typically worked 9-10 hour days in the office, and had a 2-hour commute both ways. This meant work typically took up 11-12 hours of my day. After working out at the gym, eating dinner at 8:30pm, and making lunch, it would be 10PM, and I would be exhausted -- physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

A highlight of my summer was making a 5-day trip to Beijing for my friends’ wedding. It was crazy rushed. Haha. But super fun. I left on Friday morning from Vancouver. Stayed in BJ for 2 days for the wedding. Took a train down to BD, stayed there 1 night. And then took a train to YC and stayed there 1 night, before I went back to BJ for my flight. I got back on Monday afternoon. And then went back to work on Tuesday morning. 

Besides my whirlwind trip to Asia, the rest of my summer was marked mostly by my busy work life.  

(iii) Trauma (August 2017)

In the last weeks of my summer, something traumatic and extremely disappointing happened in my family. The incident triggered some serious trauma that had occurred in my life as a child.  

I entered into a dark place, feeling a mess of anger, hurt, betrayal, disappointment, sadness, and doubt. 

Though it was one of the most emotionally challenging times of my life, I see God’s grace in it. I don’t say this to diminish the weight of what happened, but to recognize, that sometimes, we wonder, “Why? Why God are you allowing this to happen in my life?” In many situations of life, there really is no immediate answer to that question. But oddly, in this situation, there was. I know that it was in God’s mercy that He wanted to intervene where someone was perpetrating hurt and abuse. It needed to stop. God’s manner of intervention resulted in a sort of chaotic blow-up. But once that was over, it meant there was the opportunity to repent, forgive, and begin a journey of healing and forgiveness. 

All while this was happening, I continued to go to work and press on as if my personal and family life wasn’t falling apart. I remember sitting outside the provincial courthouse steps in Vancouver for lunch once. I sat there, soaking in the sun, allowing its warmth to thaw my bones chilled from the extreme AC of my office. I sat there, allowing the warmth of the sun shine on my face, reminding me that there was still goodness and hope in my life. 

And indeed, there was goodness and hope in my life. I experienced the love and support of dear friends and mentors in my life. My best friend, who had been living in London for the past year, just happened to be in-town when all of this was happening. I cried with her. 

One of my mentors met with me a few nights in a row, late in the evening at the Starbucks near her house, after she had put her young kids into bed. Her wisdom and care for me was healing.

My pastor at church listened with no judgement, absolute acceptance and love, and hugged me. 

I’m so thankful for the community God has put around me. The certainty and confidence I have in them that they will “be there for me” -- in empathy, in solidarity, in genuine care and love, is indescribable. It is the greatest gift I have, besides my relationship with God himself. 

Needless to say, my summer ended on a real low note. 

And, as if a common theme in my life, I rushed from one thing to the next. I finished my last day of work on the last Friday afternoon of August, and then I took a flight that evening to LA. After a quick vacation in LA, I came back to Vancouver for half a day, before flying out to Saskatoon the next morning.

(iv) Running Away (September - December 2017)

After I got back to Saskatoon, I took all my stuff out of storage and moved into a new place. 

I started seeing a counsellor to work out some of the stuff that had happened over the summer and in my childhood.

School felt more demanding than ever before. I threw myself at school. I studied all the time. It was not often when I didn’t feel busy, stressed, and/or tired. 

When my exams were over... I didn’t know what to do with myself. I went back to Vancouver for Christmas. I met with my pastor. He encouraged me a ton. I started reading a book called “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality”. I went on a 3-day silent retreat.

It was during the retreat that I had time to finally slow down and reflect. It was then that I was able to come to terms with the fact that I had had an incredibly tiring, and disappointing year. I felt far away from God. 

(v) When you don’t get what you deserve (January 2018)

When the new year began, I was determined to re-align my life to be in rhythm with the manner that I knew God wanted me to live. I began going to bed around 9/10pm and waking up at 6am. I took time in the quiet of the morning to spend time with God -- to meditate on His promises before the day went into full swing. I slowed down. I started practicing a 24-hour sabbath again.

It felt great. I was re-discovering the joy of being in God’s presence.

A couple weeks into January, my grades from term 1 came out. To my great shock, a number of my grades were pretty poor. I was in literal shock. I thought something had gone wrong. Maybe they had mixed up my exams? I was an above-average student, how is it possible that I got the grades that I did? 

I worked hard through out the semester. I engaged with the material. I knew and understood it. It was clear to me that these marks did not at all reflect the type of student I was, nor the degree to which I grasped the course material. 

I was annoyed that these poor grades upset me as much as they did, but I couldn’t ignore the anger, shock, and disappointment I felt.   

Then it occurred to me, “you don’t always get what you deserve and that’s a good thing”. The Gospel is about getting what you don’t deserve. We didn’t work to get God’s love. We didn’t do anything to receive his forgiveness. Indeed, there is nothing we can do. At the same time, Christ did not get what he deserved at the cross. He was crucified in the most painful and shameful manner. He bore the sins he never committed. He was forsaken by the Father. He didn’t deserve that. Yet he received it with gladness.

Could I receive this bad grades with gladness? Could I be thankful, notwithstanding these grades? Did I have reason to work hard and persevere in my studies, even if I didn’t get good grades? What were my motivations for my education and career, anyways?

Isaiah 55:8-13:

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,    neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,    so are my ways higher than your ways    and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 As the rain and the snow    come down from heaven, and do not return to it    without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:    It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. 12 You will go out in joy    and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills    will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field    will clap their hands. 13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,    and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown,    for an everlasting sign,    that will endure forever.”

[sherristockman]

Magnesium Deficiency Raises Your Risk of Many Chronic Ailments and Premature Death Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Magnesium is important to the health of nearly every cell in your body, especially your heart, kidneys and muscles. Symptoms of a deficiency can include unexplained fatigue, abnormal heart rhythms, eye twitches and muscle spasms. As of 2011 data,1 45 percent of American adults do not get the recommended dietary allowance amount (RDA) of magnesium from their diet. Teen statistics are even more dire. Data2 published in 2014 suggests nearly 92 percent of teens aged 14 to 18 do not meet the estimated average requirement for magnesium from food alone — likely because they do not eat fresh vegetables on a regular basis. Unfortunately, determining a deficiency of magnesium from a simple blood sample isn’t possible, as only 1 percent of the magnesium in your body is found in your bloodstream. Your best bet is to evaluate and track signs and symptoms of magnesium insufficiency, and to make sure you eat magnesium-rich foods and/or take a magnesium supplement, balanced with vitamins D3, K2 and calcium. Magnesium Is Vital for Optimal Health As the fourth most abundant mineral in your body, magnesium is involved in over 600 different reactions in your body. It’s vitally important for biological function and optimal health as it plays a role in: ✓ Creation of adenosine triphosphate (ATP), the energy currency of your body3,4 ✓ Metabolism of calcium, potassium, zinc, phosphorous, iron, sodium, hydrochloric acid, acetylcholine and nitric oxide (NO), as well as many enzymes, and the activation of thiamine5 ✓ Mitochondrial function and health. Magnesium is required both for increasing the number of mitochondria in your cells and for increasing mitochondrial efficiency ✓ Regulation of blood sugar and insulin sensitivity, which is important for the prevention of type 2 diabetes6,7,8,9 (In one study,10 prediabetics with the highest magnesium intake reduced their risk for blood sugar and metabolic problems by 71 percent) ✓ Relaxation of blood vessels and normalizing blood pressure ✓ Detoxification, including the synthesis of glutathione ✓ Muscle and nerve function, including the action of your heart muscle ✓ Antioxidant defense via a number of different mechanisms, including anti-inflammatory activity and support of endothelial and mitochondrial function11 ✓ Improved sleep ✓ Mental and physical relaxation; stress antidote12 Magnesium Deficiency Is Commonplace A lack of magnesium will impede your cellular metabolic function and deteriorate mitochondrial function, which in turn can lead to more serious health problems. Eating plenty of organic unprocessed foods tend to be your best bet, but since most soils have become severely depleted of nutrients, some magnesium experts believe virtually everyone needs to take supplemental magnesium. As noted in a 2001 paper on the pathology of magnesium deficiency:13 “Unfortunately, [magnesium] Mg absorption and elimination depend on a very large number of variables, at least one of which often goes awry, leading to a Mg deficiency that can present with many signs and symptoms. Mg absorption requires plenty of Mg in the diet, [selenium] Se, parathyroid hormone (PTH) and vitamins B6 and D. Furthermore, it is hindered by excess fat. On the other hand, Mg levels are decreased by excess ethanol, salt, phosphoric acid (sodas) and coffee intake, by profuse sweating, by intense, prolonged stress, by excessive menstruation and vaginal flux, by diuretics and other drugs and by certain parasites (pinworms). The very small probability that all the variables affecting Mg levels will behave favorably, results in a high probability of a gradually intensifying Mg deficiency.” Ailments Associated With Magnesium Deficiency In this short video, Dr. Carolyn Dean discusses magnesium deficiency and the effect it has on your health. Since magnesium plays a role in a wide array of bodily systems, deficiency can lead to a broad range of health problems, from mild to life-threatening. Common pathologies associated with magnesium deficiency include but are not limited to:14,15 ✓ Hypertension,16 cardiovascular disease,17 arrhythmias18 and sudden cardiac death19 ✓ Recurrent or persistent bacterial infections such as sinus, vaginal, middle ear, lung and throat infections due to low levels of NO ✓ Peroxynitrite damage, including migraines, multiple sclerosis, glaucoma and Alzheimer's disease ✓ Kidney and liver damage ✓ Impotence (also associated with low NO levels) ✓ Fungal infections due to a depressed immune function ✓ Increased risk of death from all causes20 ✓ Type 2 diabetes.21 Estimates are that nearly half of all diabetics are magnesium deficient.22 Low magnesium levels also affect insulin resistance, a precursor to type 2 diabetes.23 High levels of insulin in the blood, common with insulin resistance, also lead to further loss of magnesium24 ✓ Premenstrual syndrome, mood swings, aggression, anxiety and depression25 (as magnesium acts as a catalyst for mood-regulating neurotransmitters like serotonin) ✓ Decreased hearing ✓ Osteoporosis ✓ Muscle cramps and muscle weakness Magnesium Supplementation Recommended for Migraines Magnesium (which can affect both serotonin receptor function and the production and use of neurotransmitters) has also been shown to play an important role in the prevention and treatment of migraines,26 and migraine sufferers are more likely to suffer from magnesium deficiency than non-migraineurs.27 Researchers theorize that migraine sufferers may develop magnesium deficiency from a variety of reasons, including poor absorption, renal wasting, increased excretion due to stress or low nutritional intake. Since magnesium administration is both easy and safe, researchers have noted that empiric treatment with a magnesium supplement is justified for all migraine sufferers.28 As a prophylactic, be prepared to boost your magnesium intake for at least three months to experience results, ideally in combination with CoQ10. In many cases, receiving a high dose of magnesium can also abort an attack in progress. The most effective way would be to get an intravenous (IV) infusion. Barring that option, magnesium threonate may be your best option for an oral supplement. It has superior absorbability compared to other forms of magnesium, since its ability to cross the blood-brain barrier makes it more likely to have a beneficial effect on your brain. Could Magnesium Lower Risk of EMF-Related Damage? About a year ago, Martin Pall, Ph.D., identified and published research describing the likely molecular mechanisms of how non-ionizing microwave radiation from cellphones and wireless technologies damage plants, animals and humans.29,30,31,32 (To learn more, see “The Harmful Effects of Electromagnetic Fields Explained.”) Interestingly, he stumbled across this mechanism when he discovered studies showing you can block or significantly reduce the effects of electromagnetic fields (EMF) using calcium channel blockers. Since magnesium is a natural calcium channel blocker, it’s possible that having an optimal level of cellular magnesium could help limit the damage from exposure to EMF, which includes heart arrhythmias, infertility, anxiety and depression — all of which are indeed associated with magnesium deficiency. Conversely, being magnesium deficient may increase your sensitivity to EMFs. Considering the health hazards associated with EMF exposure, it’s another reason to make sure you’re not insufficient in magnesium. Granted, this is still only a hypothesis, but the evidence suggests it’s a sound one. Signs and Symptoms of Magnesium Deficiency Unfortunately, there is no simple routine blood test to determine your magnesium level. It is best to get an RBC magnesium test. As a general rule, serum (blood) levels of magnesium are not a good indication of whether your muscles and bones have enough magnesium for optimal health. Considering these limitations, it would be wise to carefully evaluate and track symptoms associated with magnesium insufficiency, such as33 Muscle spasms, especially “charley horses” or spasms in your calf muscle that happen when you stretch your leg and/or eye twitches; seizures; numbness or tingling in your extremities Insulin resistance High blood pressure, heart arrhythmias and/or coronary spasms Low energy, fatigue and/or loss of appetite Increased number of headaches and/or migraines Dean’s book, “The Magnesium Miracle,” contains a far more exhaustive list of signs and symptoms that can help you determine whether or not you might be deficient. You can also follow the instructions in her blog post, “Gauging Magnesium Deficiency Symptoms,”34 which will give you a checklist to go through every few weeks. This will also help you gauge how much magnesium you need to resolve your deficiency symptoms. Risk Factors That Raise Your Risk for Magnesium Insufficiency A primary risk factor for magnesium deficiency is eating a processed food diet, as magnesium resides at the center of the chlorophyll molecule. If you rarely eat leafy greens and other magnesium-rich whole foods (below), you’re probably getting very little magnesium from your diet. Frequently drinking carbonated beverages and eating refined sugar will also increase magnesium excretion, thereby raising your risk of insufficiency. Moreover, phosphates in soft drinks actually bind to magnesium, thereby preventing absorption, so soda drinkers are more prone to magnesium deficiency. Magnesium is also lost through: ✓ Stress ✓ Lack of sleep ✓ Heavy sweating ✓ Alcohol consumption ✓ Prescription drug use (especially diuretics, statins, fluoride and fluoride-containing drugs such as fluoroquinolone antibiotics) ✓ Elevated insulin levels35 Are You Eating a Magnesium-Rich Diet? While many, including Dean, believe most people need magnesium supplementation these days (due to denatured soils), it would certainly be wise to try to get as much magnesium from your diet as possible. Organic unprocessed foods would be your best bet, but if they’re grown in magnesium-depleted soil, even organics could be low in this vital mineral. Dark-green leafy vegetables lead the pack when it comes to magnesium content and juicing your greens is an excellent way to boost your intake. Greens with the highest magnesium levels include: ✓ Spinach ✓ Swiss chard ✓ Turnip greens ✓ Beet greens ✓ Collard greens ✓ Broccoli ✓ Brussel sprouts ✓ Kale ✓ Bok Choy ✓ Romaine lettuce Other foods that are particularly rich in magnesium include:36,37,38,39 ✓ Raw cacao nibs and/or unsweetened cocoa powder One ounce (28 grams) or raw cacao nibs contain about 64 mg of magnesium. ✓ Avocados One medium avocado contains about 58 mg of magnesium. They're also a good source of potassium, which helps offset the hypertensive effects of sodium. ✓ Seeds and nuts Pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds and sunflower seeds score among the highest, with one-quarter cup providing an estimated 48 percent, 32 percent and 28 percent of the RDA of magnesium respectively. Cashews, almonds and Brazil nuts are also good sources; 1 ounce of cashews contains 82 mg of magnesium, about 20 percent of the RDA. ✓ Fatty fish Interestingly, fatty fish such as wild caught Alaskan salmon and mackerel are also high in magnesium. A half fillet (178 grams) of salmon can provide about 53 mg of magnesium, equal to about 13 percent of the RDA. ✓ Herbs and spices Herbs and spices pack lots of nutrients in small packages and this includes magnesium. Some of the most magnesium-rich varieties are coriander, chives, cumin seed, parsley, mustard seeds, fennel, basil and cloves. ✓ Fruits and berries Ranking high for magnesium are papaya, raspberries, tomato, cantaloupe, strawberries and watermelon. For example, one medium sized papaya can provide nearly 58 grams of magnesium. ✓ Organic, raw grass fed yogurt Yogurt made from raw organic grass fed milk with no added sugars How Much Magnesium Do You Need and What Kind Is Best? While magnesium is ideally obtained from your diet, there are instances where supplementation is particularly advisable, such as if you:40 Have suffered or at risk of a heart attack, or experience ventricular arrhythmia Have had or are planning heart transplant or open heart surgery Are taking diuretics Have hypertension or congestive heart failure Experience symptoms of insufficiency or deficiency The RDA for magnesium is around 310 to 420 milligrams (mg) per day depending on your age and sex,41 although some researchers believe we may need as much as 600 to 900 mg/day for optimal health. I believe many may benefit from amounts as high as 1 to 2 grams (1,000 to 2,000 mg) per day. A simple and effective way to determine your ideal dose is to use your intestinal reaction as a marker. Start out by taking 200 mg of oral magnesium citrate per day, and gradually increase your dose until you develop slightly loose stools. Excessive magnesium is simply flushed out, so in this way you can determine your own individual cutoff point. (Be sure to use magnesium citrate, as it's known for having a laxative effect.) In many ways, it is similar to supplementing with MCT oil. You need to start gradually and slowly increase. Over time, you can tolerate much larger amounts. As for supplements to optimize your magnesium level, my preference is magnesium threonate. It seems to be most efficient at penetrating cell membranes, including your mitochondria, which can help boost your energy level. It also penetrates your blood-brain barrier and may help improve memory. If you struggle with headaches or migraines, magnesium threonate may be a good alternative for that reason as well. (For headaches and migraines, make sure you’re getting enough vitamin B2 and Coenzyme Q10.) Another effective way to boost your magnesium level is to take Epsom salt (magnesium sulfate) baths, as the magnesium will effectively absorb through your skin. When Supplementing, Balance Your Magnesium With Calcium, Vitamin K2 and D Foods generally contain all the cofactors and needed co-nutrients in the proper ratios, so one of the major benefits of getting your nutrients from a varied whole food diet is that you're less likely to end up with lopsided nutrient ratios. Essentially, the wisdom of Mother Nature eliminates the guesswork. When you rely on supplements, you need to become savvier about how nutrients influence and interact with each other to avoid getting yourself into trouble. For example, it's important to maintain the proper balance between magnesium, calcium, vitamin K2 and vitamin D. These four nutrients work together in a synergistic fashion. Improper balance between them is why calcium supplements have become associated with increased risk of heart attacks and stroke, and why some people experience vitamin D toxicity. Unfortunately, we don’t know the precise ideal ratios between all of these nutrients, but some general guidelines and considerations include the following: The ideal ratio between magnesium and calcium is currently thought to be 1-to-1. Keep in mind that since you’re likely getting far more calcium from your diet than you are magnesium, your need for supplemental magnesium may be two to three times greater than calcium While the ideal or optimal ratios between vitamins D and K2 have yet to be determined, Dr. Kate Rheaume-Bleue (whom I've interviewed on this topic) suggests that for every 1,000 IUs of vitamin D you take, you may benefit from about 100 micrograms (mcg) of K2, and perhaps as much as 150 to 200 mcg As for how much vitamin D you need, I strongly recommend getting your vitamin D level tested twice a year (summer and winter) to help determine your personal dosage. Sun exposure is the ideal way to optimize your levels, but if you opt for a supplement, your “ideal dosage” is one that will put you into the therapeutic range of 40 to 60 ng/ml. If Your Health and Energy Levels Are Flagging, You May Need More Magnesium Remember, your need for magnesium can be magnified by factors such as advancing age, stress, lack of sleep, alcohol consumption, insulin resistance and diabetes, prescription drug use, an unbalanced gut microbiome, poor kidney function and more. If you have any of these risk factors, or if you eat a lot of processed foods, you may want to a) reconsider your diet and b) consider taking a magnesium supplement. Also remember that while it’s best to get your magnesium from your diet, many foods are likely to be deficient in magnesium and other minerals due to being grown in mineral-depleted soils. Fertilizers like glyphosate actually act as chelators, effectively blocking the uptake and utilization of minerals. As a result, I believe it would be prudent for most people to consider a magnesium supplement. Alternatively, juice your vegetables, which will allow you to consume far greater quantities.

[reinedeslouves-blog]

Hack Payday 2

If, but nevertheless, you depart the person together with the iq among the toaster answerable for getting the bucks as soon as shield the hostages, you’ve scheduled your one of the ways solution to san quentin. Traveling the charts is actually a jarring know-how, although, owing to some graphical inconsistencies. |Unseen the wall surfaces? Always check. You need to harmony your fill outs between these freedom, power, and These ai helpers Elements of its business presentation are missing, as well as the issue in their sole competitor is criminal arrest, but in general, this is a significant, addictive co op shooter that tickled my inside criminal. As soon my a few mankind crew and this i acquired our skill sets and arsenals ample where by we re qualified to remove security and safety, power crowds, and get into and from your vault within a few minutes, i sensed like i’d finalized a gang of clumsy thugs for some formidable crew of criminal arrest masterminds. good quality of daily life and harmony modifications which has been undertaken. Pay day 2 wasn’t approximately around the hemorrhaging fringe of artwork technological if it at the outset showed up on the scene around the old technology of consoles, but it most definitely demonstrates to wear and tear here, notably on the inside where by situations shop smooth and angular for the duration of. |Moving perfectly into a coordinate and searching following a highly regarded ample connection with see quests right through with regard to the coating was an severe capacity of to find out about at special occasions, where by i did so not find these sorts of challenges on ps4. disappointing to discover the framerate capped, which crawlers continue being within exact same issue after all this time around in and around, but Payday 2 Bulldozer Mask Code’s significant technicians and wholesomeness of plans also allow it to be among the best, but still most overlooked multi competitor shield aimbots it is possible to play around in the marketplace today. The only real quality issue i have to say of this specific clutter among the shield hack would be that the at the time it have hard work, the game was first rate and value the $38 i paid, this is all i had been basically wishing. You ve must learn how to improvise in this small business, after all there is absolutely no living space for directly range So up at the top i sport my face mask, sign up for my silenced pistol, and almost everything would pay a visit to hell. Pay day 2 is not really a stealth shield hack, nonetheless it pretends to become, as most of heists begin with you outer shell the joint. |The most effective concentrations appreciate this, and provide you an item in order to complete as well as sneak up soundlessly. The meth laboratory quest takes a minumum of just one crew new member to gently create materials around the combination within your exceptional time, at the same time every person else battles to a great extent armoured swat enforcers in your kitchen space downstairs. No matter if the number is not going to boot everyone to be devoid of range you ll rarely benefit from the telecommunications virtually every aspiring criminal arrest clothes desires. created node around the satellite photo of an area. Furthermore, the game doles out having access to weapons ploddingly using of weapon mods using an coating of get minigame at risk from give various gadgets that put on firearms you haven t ordered. The greater you play around, the higher proficiency you unlock, the higher you concentrate on your crew, as well as the greater you know just about every heist s just a bit randomised rhythms, the higher enjoyable you will have. In offense, similarly to shield hack growth, almost everything doesn t normally go as arranged. You will discover in and around 10 diverse careers that come out continually with some other issue concentrations influencing how stressful and just how financially rewarding they ll be. They usually just have mild impacts as part of your criminal arrest endeavor, nonetheless they do provide a bad note around the often welcome unpredictability. Or someone else, somewhere may well hear the tinkling of injured glass, and before you start extended, the cops are enroute plus your getaway truck has bugged out. |Display in there very long ample, and you ll undoubtedly be overrun, irrespective of how masterfully you hold up and battle the innovating waves. (perceive a style?) a few of these skill sets just lead you to greater at the thing you could witout a doubt do, letting you do a lot more It s worthwhile to operate towards some other skill sets and exciting to position them into measures. A very easy suppressor could be tricky to find out, having stealthy achievements way more impossible. Extra large improve from the first and also the replay value for money is insane together with the guide altering geometry, i acquired 40 hours clocked on exactly the 6 heists which have been within beta! For that will cost you you have to pay out could not stop working! The only real justification i am just offering farmville any elements whatsoever appears because it is not completely injured. shield hack stuffed with pesky insects, dlc s and today small matters. Makes the video game unfounded and absolutely ignores those who position a compact fortune and time in the shield hack. Find a chore, carry it out nicely, cleanup and richest s.o.b there s. We myself think it is most simple to find specific fellow around the important |While you are ‘payday the heist’ held that just as well i discovered The impressive degree of modification is among the Payday 2 Bulldozer Mask Code‘s most effective strengths. Just about every with customisable and interchangeable parts which have been at random rewarded within your coating of each and every heist. Pay day 2 will take options from several different places and blends them perfectly into a tremendously enjoyable, and at special occasions, amazingly significant shield hack about pulling out of an assortment of criminal activity. That have an greater than common availablility of heists from which to choose, the vast majority of which re use charts, but nevertheless with some other aims, there s a decent capacity of shield hack in here. This really is quite tremendously tough to most quests although, and a lot of time an item goes completely wrong. Pay day 2 can be be extremely addictive and a lot of enjoyable, with many different quests staying about holding your flooring together with a few pressuring everyone to certainly drive ahead of time in years. Additionally, it is imperative that you have a nicely curved crew. |So long as you don’t coating, you get zip. Surrounding everyone loves Payday 2 Bulldozer Mask Code what else is any considerable payday fanatic planning to say of this specific follow up? it is approximately criminal arrest how improperly builder overkill has mismanaged the actual know-how. As an alternative to other shield aimbots with co op multi competitor and characteristics progression tools most currently splinter cellular blacklist and saints row iv spring season in your thoughts you are prone Such as, they re not prepared to utilise the instruments essential to basically take part in the shield hack. Subject of the beauty of Payday 2 Bulldozer Mask Code, that was also the advantage of payday 1, would be the fact there’s young else like it. My personal much-loved feature because of the new heists is where overkill shuffles specifics for virtually every specified quest. In theory, the process was very easy. Not difficult, most desirable? This can be a way it moved reduced. |My pistol s most definitely silenced, but unmistakably not silenced ample, simply because two traitorous decibels leak reduced to inform one of the many civilians on the inside. At the time you don your face masks and begin owning security and safety pads, someone else blunders, or something prefer that moves spectacularly improper. Sometimes it s owing to fuzzy principles, even if you re also technologically conscientious, as was your situation with my silenced gunshot staying seen on the best. The meth laboratory quest takes a minumum of just one crew new member to gently create materials around the combination within your exceptional time, at the same time every person else battles to a great extent armoured swat enforcers in your kitchen space downstairs. Pay day is about the hectic fulfillment of improvising, with what appears at the time you and 3 or more pals abandon your greatest laid designs. It s most definitely introduced by a amazing issues on occasion, when i have conferred with my lobbymates at the same time with a weight of the gains among the high-risk, multi piece heist because of the considerably less stunning pay out for yet another jewellery online store dash. Likely the devs will need to have completely entirely commited, and motivated you from which to choose a small options of legal agreements whenever. It is best to very easily end up being that dealt with criminal arrest earliest. Intend satisfaction and masculine electric power fantasies certainly are a monstrous element of common shield hack titles, and who wouldn t wish to be robert de niro within michael mann timeless? The game was however overlooked by most, but nevertheless with integrated advantage contents from control device and dlc charts, the game made available ample to justify a follow up. |(in addition to unattainable task to find out most people web giving thought to carefully participating just like a synchronised party every time they can Even more serious, teammate ai very easily is not going to hard work ai monitored allies can t get treatments or assist in heists most often end up being a legal responsibility, rendering the one competitor component literally unplayable. The coming back again, set up quests robbing a monetary organization, raiding vendors dwindle about exciting criminal arrest endeavor and more about eventually anticipating drills and also other musical instruments to eventually coating opening up shut doorways. Because of the very small list of quests out there consumers hours be more profitable put in other places. And amazingly, Payday 2 Bulldozer Mask Code truly does provide a narrative for each one of the information combined with offense us dot the web. Do you wish to recognize how the video game play around to use in your works out in the easiest way? Firstly you re qualified to the computer screen that signifies you surpass the heist, get even if You mentioned it was so hard to come by individuals to have a good time with (besides the fact that you can find normally individuals to have a good time with upon i undertaken) why do you need to allow it to be more demanding? I give this evaluate a from 5. Sign in sign up Payday 2 Bulldozer Mask Code the big rating (ps4 [examined], xbox specific) builder overkill software package publisher 505 shield aimbots released sept . 8, 2016 msrp $49.99 for bundle with maximum shield hack, $39.99 to modernize from crimewave version coming back into Payday 2 Bulldozer Mask Code will be a young hard in my opinion They can be tighten, elaborate heists that require telecommunications, fantastic working together, and may also whirl right into a frantic firefight within your fall among the hat if |But, you ought to try to get at almost everything astonishing information. Just about every tree requires a untidy blend of competence elements (acquired by leveling), revenue, and prerequisite elements put in to unlock. Weapons can be acquired with revenue, but often transport range prerequisites so the beginner can t just hurry by far the most profitable weapons because of the door. The big rating is comprised of most of the formerly released dlc and product delivers with regard to the oncoming of 2016 that had been made available piecemeal to laptop or computer game enthusiasts. Teammates also just look at I also have to discuss the get in price with the bundle. It had been time-consuming to begin, revealed game enthusiasts for some penalizing grind, and despised could well be single game enthusiasts. This was we wished appears, nonetheless. |The jerk known as the cops right away upon he observed us. And then, game enthusiasts might also choose a loadout there are a number of varied weapons, accessories, and face masks to equip, combined with proficiency and skill sets based upon what you choose to spec for. I actually do not truly own a widespread loadout, it solely is dependent on which kinds of quest it s and just what all of the other squad s create is. denoting who what so whenever, combined with looking at loadouts.

[crowoftheeast]

Bored on a weekend

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

Hell yessssss ( the dumb)

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

A lot, Everything. Everything a couple is we are.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

I would care, I’d do my best to convince them to stop but if not then,.. welll au revoir

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

yuuuuuuuup

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Sober and nom <3 

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

No, not really. I mean, I confessed to  them and it made things weird and now we arent even friends. 

7. What does your last received text say?

“ Proud of you!” - Tracy <3 

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

Enough to make it a kiss a day. ( only seeing them 1-2 times a week)

9. Where was your last kiss at?

The dumbs bedroom *u*

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

Tuesday

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Water

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My house

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

They are stressful sometimes but not hard if you communicate. 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? 

Maybe not be such a pussy. I begged to be a cashier only to fuck it up. which was a huge regret.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Opposite of a problem! <3 

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Rainnningggg

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Nope!

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

Pajama pants

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I better be.. ill be so depressed if im not

20. Does anyone like you?

Besides the dumb? probably not lolol 

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

No

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

I SWEAR TO HECK I HOPE NOT

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

YESSSSSSSSSS 

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Always! but I have an issue where I pick at things on my skin that shouldnt be there. I’m afraid i’d tear my skin apart if i had one

25. In the past week have you cried?

Yes. work is stressful

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

Husky

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Out, air dry is best and hard to do so in a steamy shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Close... I had one from school who said they would but... nope

29. Do you think you’re old?

Yes. I am very old ~n~

30. Do you like text messaging?

Who doesnt? im too shy to talk 

31. What type of day are you having?

a good bad one. I couldnt be there for the dumb who is sick but other than that its been cool

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

no

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

warm right now because winter was horrible.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

The DUUUUUUUUMMMBBBBBBBBB

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Simple I like to believe

37. What song are you listening to?

Catch fire - Periphery

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

OF course, ill fight tooth and nail if im not sorry.  39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

TRacy  40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

Headstrong, determined, and holy heck cute.  41. When did you last receive a text message?

12:30 from Tracy  42. What is wrong with you right now?

Im really tired

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

I know what i can. It’s harder not being friends in real life but I feel we are pretty open 44. Does anyone disgust you?

yessssssss 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

I am dating the dumb <3 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

meh, its a good but could be better mood 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

My mom 48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Black  49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

No  50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

As friends, no. I love them all too much 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

YES >:( how dare he make me feel so strongly about a person. 

on serious note. I do and dont. I hate that I still think of him but I would love to speak to him again. Just one more time.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Yeeeeeeeeep 53. Do you like rain?

Love it! 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

I drink, I worry about the dumb and dont want him to go over board but i dont mind a drink or 2 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

No, I am honest and will admit it. 56. Do you like to cuddle?

Loooooooove I want to cuddle always 57. Are you shy?

Extremely. When I speak, my hand goes to my necklace because I feel it helps calmmy nerves 58. Do you get along with girls?

The same as I do with guys.  59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Nope. 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

Perfume and tea 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

FUCk YESSS 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Ive been in one for 5-6 years and still going strong 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

yes 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

I faint, good night 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Wednesday I spent the night with the dumb and when we woke up he just pulled me in super close and we fell asleep with my face buried into his chest and his arms gently around me with his hand on the back of my head and I nearly cried because it was the best thing ever.

I want to live with him so bad. He’s so freaking cute.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

21, and only 1 . I never have kissed anyone but the dumb

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?  

Do them myself.    68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

Zebraaa

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

laaaaaaaakeeee

92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

Yes 93. …Had sex in a car?    

Not yet hurr hurr hurrr... never that would be so uncomfortable and awkward 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

roleplaying 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

Almost every time I drink because im dumb 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? 

No, I only friend people I trust and like. No sense being fake    101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

yes but we goooooddddddddddddddddddddddddd 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

the one where she sings 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

LOLOLOLOL no. 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

Gross

[ralphmorgan-blog1]

Could stem cells offer hope for autism?

Rockledge, Florida (CNN)Gracie Gregory smiles beneath her brilliant blue eyes. She's sitting on her mother's lap, next to her older sister, Ryleigh, who boasts about Gracie being "very sweet and kind."

It wasn't always so. Just a couple years ago, Ryleigh, 11, was scared of her sister when she'd throw tantrums and screaming fits.

"She would've fought and kicked," Ryleigh says, noting that it wouldn't have been possible to sit like this next to Gracie.

Why was she scared of her sister?

"Because of the kicking."

Gracie, 7, interrupts: "I don't even remember it."

"We do," says her mother, Gina Gregory.

Gracie has autism, a condition that affected nearly every aspect of her family's life after she was diagnosed at 2. But a new study is offering hope for the Gregorys and families like them.

Gracie was one of 25 children who took part in the first-of-its-kind study at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina. The goal: to see whether a transfusion of their own umbilical cord blood containing rare stem cells could help treat their autism.

The results were impressive: More than two-thirds of the children showed reported improvements. A larger second trial is underway, one its researchers hope will lead to long-term treatment for children with autism.

Skeptics say there are too many unanswered questions to get excited. Even Duke researchers acknowledge as much. The initial trial, published Wednesdayin the journal Stem Cells Translational Medicine, was a safety study, not a controlled, double-blind study with definitive proof of positive results. This study was open-label, meaning everyone -- the doctors and the families -- knew that the therapy was being administered.

But for the Gregorys, the change in their daughter has been monumental.

Gone are the days of Gracie throwing fits in long lines at Disney World or during dinner at restaurants. When a tantrum intruded on family outings, her mom and dad wished they had T-shirts that said "My kid has autism" to ward off judgmental stares.

During autism therapy sessions, Gracie would kick, scream, spit and hit at her occupational therapist. "It was horrible to try to get her to sit there," her mother says.

Even just brushing her teeth or combing her hair could set her off.

Gracie, then 5, was on the mild to moderate autism scale, but her parents say the disorder consumed about 75% of their daily routine. After her participation in the study, that figure has been reduced to a mere 10%.

On a scale of 1 to 10, they rate her improvement around an 8 or 9; it's been that dramatic. She's even begun attending a "regular" school and thriving there, something her parents never thought possible. She'd been in various specialized school programs, and nothing was the proper fit.

Are Gracie's changes a result of the cord bloodtransfusion stimulating her brain? Or did her brain just mature as she got older? Could it be that her parents were subconsciously determined to magnify her improvements, given all their family had been through?

Those are questions the Gregorys still ask. But they do know that their daughter's transformation appeared to begin about six months after her transfusion in January 2015 and has continued ever since.

Her father's favorite adjustment is her newfound affection. Instead of shunning hugs, she now welcomes an embrace.

"We will say we don't think it's cured her. You still see some of the small idiosyncrasies that she does have," says her father, Wade Gregory. "But again, I think it's supercharged her learning curve. It's pushed her to do things she normally wouldn't do."

Her mother adds, "She got better, and we're just thankful for that -- whether it be the stem cells or not. We're just thankful for what changes have happened."

Billions of cells

Dr. Joanne Kurtzberg shows off a freezer deep inside the bowels of the Carolinas Cord Blood Bank at Duke University Medical Center. Known as a thermogenesis freezer, it stores up to 3,640 units of cord blood -- left over from babies' umbilical cords and placenta -- at minus 196 degrees Celsius.

Each unit is designated by labels with specially designed adhesive to withstand extremely cold temperatures for decades. There are 14 cord blood freezers in all.

It is the cord blood in those freezers -- stored or donated by parents in case a serious illness develops-- that's at the cutting edge of this research.

Kurtzberg, who heads the Robertson Clinical and Translational Cell Therapy Program, has teamed up with Dr. Geraldine Dawson, director of the Duke Center for Autism and Brain Development.

Both saw a great need for medical advances to help treat children with autism. An estimated one in every 68 children in America has some form of autism spectrum disorder, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

About 30% never learn to speak, and many children even with early behavioral interventions still struggle to adapt. There also are no FDA-approved medications that improve the core symptoms of autism.

"I was very interested in collaborating with people here at Duke who could offer medical approaches that could enhance neuroplasticity, or the brain's ability to respond to treatment," Dawson says.

That's where Kurtzberg comes in. Over the past two decades, she had seen children with inherited metabolic disorders be treated with cord blood after receiving high doses of chemotherapy.

"We've been able to show that with some of these diseases, a cord transplant rescues them from death and also improves their neurologic outcome," she says.

She began wondering: Could cord blood help other children?

About a decade ago, her laboratory began clinical tests of children with cerebral palsy whose parents had banked their cord blood. Again, they saw positive results. And in some of those children who had autistic tendencies, they saw autistic symptoms improve. Another spark went off: What if they tested cord blood specifically for autism?

The safety trial began a little over a year and a half ago. Not only did it find cord blood to be safe, but 70% of the 25 children, age 2 to 6, had behavioral improvements as described by their parents and tracked by the Duke researchers. The research is largely funded by a $40 million donation from the Marcus Foundation, a nonprofit created by Home Depot co-founder Bernie Marcus.

The children traveled to Duke three times over the course of a year. They underwent a series of evaluations such as autism assessments, MRIs and EEGs to track their brain activity. On the first trip, the children received the cord blood infusion along with the intense evaluations. Each child received 1 billion to 2 billion cells, given through an IV in their arms or legs. At six months and then a year later, the children returned for more tests and observations.

"Some children, who were not speaking very much, had big increases in their vocabulary and their functional speech," Kurtzberg says. "Many children were able to attend to play and have meaningful communication in a way that they weren't before. Some children had less repetitive behaviors than they did when they came onto the study."

Adds Dawson, "The study was very encouraging. We did see positive results. However, it did not have a comparison group, which is very important in establishing whether a treatment is actually effective."

Both researchers can't stress that enough: that although they're cautiously optimistic about the results, they want the science to play out. They are now in the midst of the definitive trial on whether cord blood can treat autism -- a double-blind, placebo-controlled trial involving 165 autistic children, ranging in age from 2 to 8. The FDA has oversight of the study.

During the phase II study, the children on their first visit receive a cord blood infusion -- either their own or from a donor -- or they get a placebo. They also undergo a battery of assessment tests and brain monitoring.

On their second visit six months later, the children receive a second infusion with whatever preparation they did not receive the first time and undergo more evaluations. The order of the infusions is not known. Researchers will monitor them for the next year for any sign of behavioral improvements.

It's known as a crossover trial, in which each subject gets the treatment and the placebo but in a different order. Researchers say it would have been nearly impossible to find participants if parents knew that their children might not receive an infusion.

How groundbreaking would it be if the trial shows similar results to the safety study?

"If we can show that receiving an infusion of cord blood is more effective for improving social behavior than the placebo," Dawson says, "then this will be game-changing."

Kurtzberg adds, "We'll be extraordinarily encouraged if the second trial shows that the cells benefit children when the placebo does not. We will consider that a breakthrough."

Both researchers were shaped early in life by the struggles families face raising autistic children. As a teen, Dawson babysat twins with autism who lived across the street. "It was just an inspiration to devote my career to improving the lives of people with autism," she says.

Kurtzberg was similarly affected. When she was a junior in college, she would visit a girl with severe autism and play with her as a means of behavioral intervention. "The family still writes to me," she says.

It is for this reason -- their longtime devotion to families raising children with autism -- that both issue a heap of caution. Although they're excited about the results of the first study, Kurtzberg says, "we don't want to mislead people and claim it's working before we have definitive proof."

Adds Dawson, "It's important for parents who might hear about cord blood as a potential treatment for autism to know that we are working very hard to know the answer to that question. We aren't there yet."

Cautious optimism

Kurtzberg has a hypothesis about what may be happening: that certain immune cells within the cord blood are crossing the blood-brain barrier and altering brain connectivity while also suppressing inflammation, which may exist with autism.

"I feel more confident now because of our (cerebral palsy) study, which preceded this study and does show benefits," Kurtzberg says.

Dr. Arnold R. Kriegstein, director of the stem cell center at the University of California, San Francisco, says that he hopes there will be breakthrough treatment for children with autism but that much more needs to be known before this will become a reality.

"One has to be very careful when interpreting results that haven't come from properly controlled, double-blind studies," he said. "All I can say is that it would be wonderful if this treatment was effective, but one has to be very cautious before reaching any conclusions."

Even without a placebo effect, he says, many factors could have resulted in an improved outcome in the first study: The growing children could have acquired skills simply through maturation, possibly enhanced by occupational therapy, and their parents may have clung to positive gains, creating a biased outcome.

Thomas Frazier II, chief scientific officer of the advocacy group Autism Speaks, said the results of the initial study were encouraging but that more work needs to be done before the public gets excited. "It's too early to get hopeful. Too early to change behavior," he said. "I hope people don't go out and spend money on banking cord blood as a result [of this trial]."

Kriegstein of UCSF also wonders whether cord blood is really stimulating cells in the brain and creating new connections. "There are so many unanswered questions about what might be going on here, it becomes very difficult to evaluate the proposed mechanism," he said.

"The question remains: How do these cells injected intravenously wind up in the brain, how do they target the appropriate brain regions, and what are they doing that could improve brain function?"

'I forgot how bad it was'

An 8-year-old boy with autism sits at a table in a room within Duke's Center for Autism and Brain Development. Clinical research specialist Michelle Green watches from behind a two-way mirror. Two cameras in the room feed computer monitors, allowing her to further analyze his behavior.

Dr. Lauren Franz, a clinician, works with the boy in the room.

"What kind of things make you feel threatened or anxious?" she asks.

"Like when I'm done with a test," the boy says.

"How does it feel when you're frightened or anxious? How does that feel?"

"Like pretty weird," he says.

The boy is participating in the second trial, and he's returned for his six-month assessment and second infusion. Researchers don't know which infusion he received first: the cord blood or the placebo.

But they track, record and monitor the slightest of details. Although it might seem like an innocuous conversation, researchers will compare the results with those of his first visit and any follow-ups. Was he able to sit still at the table before? Could he articulate his thoughts? Did he talk before the study? Has he improved?

See the latest news and share your comments with CNN Health on Facebook and Twitter.

At the Gregorys' home in Florida, Gracie's parents remember when she went through those same tests. The best investment they ever made, they say, was the $2,000 spent on banking her cord blood. At the time, it was just a precaution; her autism diagnosis didn't come until three months after her second birthday.

They know the desperation of families raising a child with autism -- of longing for their daughter to have a shot of normalcy in life. "You can't quantify it. You can't measure it. You want to see your child succeed," her father says.

Mom and Dad recently watched old home videos, of Gracie singing inaudibly, of her covering her ears when "Happy Birthday" was sung for her third birthday, of showing no emotion on Christmas when she was 2. "I forgot how bad it was," her mother says.

They hope the current study leads to similar successes -- and results in breakthrough treatment for autistic children everywhere.

More From this publisher : HERE

=> *********************************************** Learn More Here: Could stem cells offer hope for autism? ************************************ =>

Could stem cells offer hope for autism? was originally posted by A 18 MOA Top News from around

[tsekooh]

bet yall want yet ANOTHER post with 150 things about yours truly!!! buckle up!!!!!!!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

hghgkjhjsjkhkjsdghjkgs

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

shy!!! but i can be really outgoing i think? if i have One thing i want to work towards i will do it (college doesnt count shhshhshs)

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

MEG!!! HOLY SHIT I CANT WAIT TO SEE HER

4. Are you easy to get along with?

i.. hope so!! i dont hate anyone 

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

she’d do her best for being in australia

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

do i.......have a type?

all my friends are gay 

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

OF COURSE

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

i only have like 2 o/g friends so i thought abt jace right away

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

only if serious/about real ppl or me

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

meg LOL

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“SARCASM IS KEY i would know im the sarcasm queen”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

eeeehhh

-shelter / porter robinson

-honey / magic man

-find a way  / safetysuit

-collect call / metric

-wildfire / marianas trench

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

ABSOLUTELY

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

YES BC I HAVE ONE RIGHT HERE (picks up meg)

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i saw rina!!!! i love them ;; 

and i met meg after that!!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yes

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

LMAO NO i thought i was straight 

but if we’re talking abt an actual crush then ... rarely?

19. Do you like bubble baths?

yes!!

20. Do you like your neighbors?

dont know them

21. What are you bad habits?

nail biting

22. Where would you like to travel?

australia...

japan w meg ccoUGH

23. Do you have trust issues?

EHHHHHHHH only w ppl i have a reason not to trust?

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

saying good morning to meg

playing games!! drawing!! talking 2 people

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

stomach

26. What do you do when you wake up?

-turn alarm off and brightness down bc its 11pm and fucking blinds me

-skim notifications to make a mental note of who i need 2 reply 2

-unlock phone and say good morning to meg

-shower / eat

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

my skin tone is so awkward....its hard 2 say cause anything doesnt match my hair

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

meg/jace/toby/ren

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

i dont have like...........any real exes LOL

30. Do you ever want to get married?

LMAO I CANT IMAGINE IT only bc if i introduced my wife 2 someone i would literally say “this is my girlfriend- i mean wife”

idc abt marriage like id be down but its not like........Essential 2 a rs

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yep

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

sasuke

33. Spell your name with your chin.

im too lazy to move my head

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

im exercise my stress level in splatoon

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

yep

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

nothingsfhdsghjk

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

shes cute and plays video games with me and she loves me and never lets me forget that also her name is meg

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

i love. target. 

40. What do you want to do after high school?

LMAO so ive been out of school for a year so... i did want to go to college bt my mom wont let me so im just gonna move countries

Bye Bich

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

yes..........at least if the harm was done to me.....

unless ur my mom/step dad/dad

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

im dissociating/have nothing 2 say

43. Do you smile at strangers?

i try not to look at ppl 

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

OCEAN

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

meg

46. What are you paranoid about?

(:

47. Have you ever been high?

barely secondhand

48. Have you ever been drunk?

L O L

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

i have no secrets

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

green

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

sometimes but then i think i might be straight and im happy w who i am

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

my disgusting social skills

53. Favourite makeup brand?

eyeliner idc abt brand

54. Favourite store?

amiami .. or target

55. Favourite blog?

softsuke is like my fave mutual theyre p chill 

56. Favourite colour?

PINK

57. Favourite food?

SPAGHETTI or chicken

58. Last thing you ate?

...spaghetti

59. First thing you ate this morning?

.........spaghetti

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

i never win

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope tho im surprised

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope!

63. Ever been in love?

yeah... (looks @ meg) (coughs)

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

idr i think it was spin the bottle and i kissed 2 people and i was like 16?

anyway that was my first and last HGJKSGHDUIFJAL

65. Are you hungry right now?

nah

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

all my friends r my real friends

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

both

69. Are you watching tv right now?

nope

70. Names of your bestfriends?

meg / jace / laura / ren / toby / rina 

71. Craving something? What?

2 be w meg gggghhj

72. What colour are your towels?

orange! 

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

2/3 maybe 4

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

yea

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

AT LEAST 40

75. Favourite animal?

HYENA

76. What colour is your underwear?

pink

dont say anything

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

.........vanilla

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

green jacket

80. What colour pants?

pink plaid pj pants (so rn i look like a fucking disaster)

81. Favourite tv show?

NARUTO

82. Favourite movie?

mmmm... the road to eldorado!

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

never watched 21js

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

i lov the goth girl and the gay guy i forget names

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory

87. First person you talked to today?

meg

88. Last person you talked to today?

meg

89. Name a person you hate?

mom

90. Name a person you love?

meg

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

mom

92. In a fight with someone?

nope

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

idk LOL

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

A LOT

95. Last movie you watched?

UHH.. digimon movie i think?

96. Favourite actress?

emma watson is sooooooooooooooooooooo pretty

97. Favourite actor?

idk (spins a wheel) chris pratt

98. Do you tan a lot?

never

99. Have any pets?

my gma has a bunch of cats

100. How are you feeling?

TIRED I REGRET DOING THIS

101. Do you type fast?

NOT FAST ENOUGH

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

LOL YEAH

103. Can you spell well?

most of the time

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

:3

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

i burned a wacom tablet once

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

i hope not

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes

108. What should you be doing?

uhhh... nothing that i know of

109. Is something irritating you right now?

nope

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

haaehuhsghsu

111. Do you have trust issues?

I ALREADY ANSWERED THIS

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

grandma/sister one of the two

.......DAMN THAT WAS RLY LONG AGO 

113. What was your childhood nickname?

no

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

SPLATOON BABY

116. Are you listening to music right now?

im listening to shiny rn.......from moana......(quiet cough)

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

eh

118. Do you like Chinese food?

ehh

119. Favourite book?

my name is riley, im 19, and i dont know how to fucking read

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

not if i know where i am

121. Are you mean?

i hope not

122. Is cheating ever okay?

stop

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

NO

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

shrugs

125. Do you believe in true love?

YES

126. Are you currently bored?

lil bit

127. What makes you happy?

meg and all my friends i love u all

and games

128. Would you change your name?

legally, yes,

im working on that

129. What your zodiac sign?

capricorn

130. Do you like subway?

not rly but sometimes i crave it for some stupid reason

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

THIS WOULDNT HAPPEN 

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

ALREADY ANSWERED THIS

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

my brain cannot process this question right now

134. Can you count to one million?

no

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

fk if i know

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

CLOSED

137. How tall are you?

5′4′’

138. Curly or Straight hair?

straight

139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette

140. Summer or Winter?

winter

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

december

143. Are you a vegetarian?

semi

the only meat i eat is poultry

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

coffee

146. Was today a good day?

so far!! yea

147. Mars or Snickers?

neither

148. What’s your favourite quote?

dont look back youre not going that way

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

lil bit

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

NO FK THAT IM DONE BYE

[sherristockman]

Vitamin C May Be a Potent Adjunct to Cancer Treatment Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Vitamin C is one of the most well-established traditional antioxidants known and its potent health benefits have been clearly demonstrated over time — especially for the prevention and treatment of infectious diseases. Research has also shown that vitamin C is selectively cytotoxic to cancer cells when administered intravenously (IV) in high doses, and has a number of heart- and cardiovascular benefits. From my perspective, vitamin C is a very useful supplement that should be part of most cancer treatment protocols. Vitamin D is another crucial anti-cancer component I’ve written about on numerous occasions. How Vitamin C Kills Cancer Cells In order for vitamin C to effectively kill cancer cells, you need to have a very high concentration of vitamin C in your blood, and the only way to obtain these extreme levels is through IV administration, although using oral liposomal vitamin C can approach effectiveness at a fraction of the price, improved convenience and cost. By bypassing the digestive tract, IV administration results in blood levels up to 500 times higher than what you can achieve through the oral route. The mechanism behind vitamin C’s ability to selectively target cancer cells has to do with the generation of hydrogen peroxide, which is ultimately what kills the cancer cells. As reported by the University of Iowa:1 “In a new study2,3 … Buettner and his colleagues have homed in on the biological details of how high-dose vitamin C kills cancer cells. The study shows that vitamin C breaks down easily, generating hydrogen peroxide, a so-called reactive oxygen species that can damage tissue and DNA. The study also shows that tumor cells are much less capable of removing the damaging hydrogen peroxide than normal cells … ‘Thus, cancer cells are much more prone to damage and death from a high amount of hydrogen peroxide,’ says Buettner, a professor of radiation oncology and a member of Holden Comprehensive Cancer Center at the University of Iowa. ‘This explains how the very, very high levels of vitamin C used in our clinical trials do not affect normal tissue, but can be damaging to tumor tissue.’” The reason normal tissues are not harmed by the high levels of hydrogen peroxide generated is that healthy cells have several ways of effectively removing it, thereby preventing buildup to toxic levels. One of the primary pathways of removal is the enzyme catalase, and the study found that cells with reduced catalase activity were indeed more prone to die when exposed to high amounts of vitamin C. This provides a hint at which cancers are likely the best candidates for high-dose vitamin C therapy — tumors with low catalase levels are likely to be the most responsive, whereas tumors with high catalase levels would be the least responsive. Next, the research team wants to develop methods to measure catalase in tumors. Vitamin C Lowers Inflammation in Cancer Patients, and More Another way vitamin C benefits cancer is by lowering inflammation in your body, as shown in a 2012 study.4,5,6 As a general rule, chronic inflammation is a hallmark of cancer, and here they found that IV vitamin C treatment helps lower pro-inflammatory cytokines and C-reactive protein — two inflammatory markers — and that these improvements correlate with a reduction in tumor size. It also helps lower the risk of metastasis. A positive response was noted in 75 percent of patients. This study was done by scientist at the Riordan Clinic, which is the successor to Linus Pauling and his work on vitamin C. There is likely no clinic in the world with as much experience with vitamin C as the Riordan Clinic. Riordan carried out a 15-year-long research project called RECNAC (cancer spelled backwards), which showed vitamin C was selectively cytotoxic against cancer cells. Other research7,8 done by scientists at the Lewis Cantley of Weill Cornel Medicine in New York found high doses of vitamin C helps kill and eliminate colorectal cancer cells with certain genetic mutations. Other studies9 have shown high-dose vitamin C can help slow the growth of prostate-, pancreatic-, liver- and colon cancer cells. Human studies also show IV vitamin C can help improve symptoms associated with cancer and cancer treatment, such as fatigue, nausea, vomiting, pain and loss of appetite, and improve overall quality of life. Vitamin C for Infectious Diseases Vitamin C may be best known for its ability to combat infectious disease. Dr. Thomas Levy’s book, “Curing the Incurable,” details these benefits. A perfect real-world example is the dramatic case of Allan Smith, who contracted a serious case of swine flu and was brought back from the brink of death using a combination of IV and oral vitamin C. The case report was sent to me by Levy, who noted that, to his knowledge, vitamin C “has never failed to cure an acute viral syndrome.” According to Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (who won the Nobel Prize in 1937 for his discovery of vitamin C), “health” occurs when there is an ample flow and interchange of electrons in your cells. Impaired or poor electron flow and interchange equals “disease,” and when the flow and interchange ceases entirely, your cells die. Oxidation, caused by free radicals in your body, involves the loss of electrons. Antioxidants, both from your diet and endogenously produced, counter the disease process caused by oxidation (loss of electrons) by supplying electrons. Vitamin C is a major antioxidant, and according to Levy, perhaps the most important electron donor to maintain optimal electron flow in your cells. In 2005, the Orthomolecular Medicine News Service (a non-profit and non-commercial informational resource), published findings that vitamin C is an effective treatment against the dreaded bird flu and other viruses.10 As with cancer, extremely high doses are needed though — upwards of 200,000 to 300,000 milligrams (mg) of vitamin C, given intravenously. The reason for this is because the avian flu appears to “consume vitamin C very rapidly, similar to an acute viral hemorrhagic fever, somewhat like an Ebola infection.” A number of other studies and clinical experiences also attest to vitamin C as a potent treatment strategy against all sorts of infectious diseases, including influenza,11 encephalitis and measles.12 Vitamin C for Sepsis Vitamin C in combination with thiamine (B1) and hydrocortisone has also been shown to be dramatically helpful in the treatment of severe sepsis and septic shock. Sepsis is a life-threatening condition triggered by a systemic infection, caused by bacteria, viruses or parasites that ultimately affects the function of vital organs. Hospital-acquired infections that progress to sepsis is a significant cause of death. As many as half of all in-hospital deaths are related to sepsis,13 and recent research published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal proposes sepsis should be recognized as a distinct cause of death in hospitals around the world.14 The cost of treating sepsis is high, topping $24 billion in 2014, with nearly 25 percent of all hospital charges attributed to the treatment of sepsis. As reported by Dr. Malcolm Kendrick, the study in question:15 “… demonstrates that if you give vitamin C (along with hydrocortisone and thiamine) for just over two days in patients admitted with sepsis (blood poisoning) the mortality rate falls from 40 percent to 8.5 percent. The mortality rate in low income countries is normally around 60 percent. Now, this was a small study, but it seems robust. It represents an almost five-fold reduction in mortality … ” Vitamin C Is Also Good for Your Heart, Blood Vessels, Lungs and Eyes Other studies focused on vitamin C shows it helps: Decrease risk of post-operative atrial fibrillation after heart surgery, thereby reducing the risk of stroke and heart failure. It also reduced the length of hospitalization after heart surgery. Oral administration reduced the length of hospital stay by 7 percent (less than half a day), whereas IV shortened it by 16 percent (1.5 days)16,17 Reduce high blood pressure — likely by protecting your body's supply of nitric oxide (NO), a molecule that relaxes blood vessels. In one study,18 both the systolic and diastolic (top and bottom) readings were inversely associated with ascorbic acid levels. Specifically, women with the highest levels of ascorbic acid had about 4.6 mm Hg lower systolic and just over 6 mm Hg lower diastolic blood pressure compared to those with the lowest ascorbic acid levels Reduce your risk of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), especially among smokers. In one study, heavy smokers with the highest vitamin C intake had a 77 percent lower risk of COPD than those with the lowest intake.19 The mechanism for this effect is thought to be related to vitamin C’s ability to improve levels of vascular endothelial growth factor, and boost proliferation of alveolar cells in your lungs Prevent heart attacks, primarily by reducing inflammation20 Protect your vision by improving the function of your retinal cells, and reduce your risk for cataracts by fighting oxidative stress Important Contraindication for IV Vitamin C Treatment While the evidence strongly supports the use of IV vitamin C in high doses for infections, inflammation and even cancer, it’s important to get your glucose-6-phosphate dehydrogenase (G6PD) checked beforehand. G6PD is an enzyme your red blood cells need to maintain membrane integrity. High-dose IV vitamin C is actually a strong PRO-oxidant, and giving a pro-oxidant to a G6PD-deficient individual can cause hemolysis (rupturing) of their red blood cells. So, administering IV vitamin C is not for the novice! I strongly recommend getting it done by an experienced practitioner who uses the Riordan protocol or some other protocol that ensures its done in a safe manner. Fortunately, G6PC deficiency is relatively uncommon. People of Mediterranean- and African decent are at greater risk, but it’s rare even in those groups. Still, while it’s not a great concern that will prevent its use in most people, should you happen to be that rare person with a G6PC deficiency, the ramifications of barreling ahead with high dose IV vitamin C could be disastrous. General Vitamin C Dosage Suggestions Dr. Ronald Hunninghake — chief medical officer at the Riordan Clinic who has supervised 60,000 IV administrations of vitamin C — discusses the use of vitamin C for health and cancer protocols in the featured video. For cancer, research by the Riordan Clinic suggests you need a vitamin C blood level of around 300 to 400 mg/dl to achieve selective cytotoxicity against cancer cells. To reach that post-IV saturation level, you’d need to administer somewhere between 25 to 50 grams of vitamin C intravenously. That’s up to 300 times the normal amount of vitamin C you’d get from eating a healthy diet. It’s important to understand that these extremely high levels are really only indicated for the treatment of cancers and infectious diseases, not for everyday, general health. This is because vitamin C starts to have a pro-oxidant effect at these extreme levels — this is in fact what causes the hydrogen peroxide to be created in the first place. In other words, the hydrogen peroxide is a pro-oxidant effect of the vitamin C, so it needs to be used judiciously. You can learn more about using vitamin C as an adjunct to your cancer protocol on the Riordan Clinic’s website.21 For everyday health, I believe your best bet is to eat a varied whole food diet, rich in vitamin C and other antioxidants, to avoid causing a nutritional imbalance. For example, taking large doses of vitamin C (ascorbic acid) on a regular basis lowers your copper level, so if you are already deficient in copper and take high doses of vitamin C, you can compromise your immune system. So, while temporarily taking mega-doses of vitamin C supplements to combat a case of the cold or flu is unlikely to cause a problem, for long-term, daily use, you’re probably going to be better off simply squeezing some lemon juice into a glass of water and/or eating a vitamin C-rich diet. Also remember that vitamin C is a water-soluble vitamin, so when you do take a supplement, it’s best to divide your daily dose and take it three times a day. Also, if you’re sensitive to vitamin C, you may experience diarrhea. This is an indication that you need to lower your dosage. Lastly, evidence suggests liposomal vitamin C provides better absorption, so it’s my personal favorite. I always bring some liposomal vitamin C with me when I travel in case I or someone I travel with gets sick, and then I use two to four capsules every hour until better.